Blogsam and Jetsam

Heck...

2008-03-11T07:33:00.002-04:00

...If ya got text ya might as well have pix too, right?

This is the re-started now-singular front to Youngest Duckling's eventual new sweater. You'll notice the unchanged back still in the basket.

A better look. The center diamond panel is "framed basketweave" which she chose herself. Those adorable side panels are Barbara Walker's "Banana Tree" (first book, page 269) although I persist in thinking of it as "Beanstalk." It's an 18 stitch 12 row repeat:

Extreme close-up of cuteness:

And this is the Italian Heirloom tomato seedling which currently represents the sum of "Gardening 2008."

Yeah I Know...

2008-03-07T07:20:00.002-05:00

...I never blog any more. These things happen.

In Very Brief:

Mother-in-law has moved out of our house and is back in the Jersey 'Burbs. I probably shouldn't add "and there was much rejoicing" but things do seem to be working out much better with her permanently 300 miles away.

Work is still far too busy of course. We are now at 75% staffing at the doctoral level which means I'm now only doing the Actual Patient-Care Work of one and a third people instead of two but the Boss-Lady part keeps growing...and all the new and shiny has definitely worn off. Which is fine.

Had a Major Knitting Setback: got two-thirds of the right front of an Aran cardigan done before realizing it was sized completely wrong. As I told HBF: "you know that sinking feeling you get when you're pretty sure it's hardware? And then you smell that burning epoxy smell? Yup, it's that one." Had to work through all my Kubler-Ross stages but eventually ripped it all out and started fresh...this time with a single-front pullover concept.

In the interim between "this isn't working out for some reason" and the Big Do-Over I made a whole slew (how many is a slew anyhow? I'm using it to mean maybe six or seven) of headbands. Discovered that they went faster using several strands of yarn held together, that they were a good medium for showing off a single cable design and that I really like the three-stitch I-cord edging.

Baby Duckling is eight today; I think I might be having a midlife crisis. Or would if there were time so I guess I'm glad there isn't.

In the Book World I've been working away at A Great Circle since early January and it's been well worth the effort. That man can write.

Also in the Book World it's our school's annual "PARP" time...that means "Parents As Reading Partners" and is a written agreement that you'll read either to or with your children for a minimum of fifteen minutes every single night for the next three weeks. Yes I have plenty of mixed feelings about that but the bottom line is that we found this book on the overflowing bookshelves which I've been reading aloud most nights...it's turned out to be surprisingly high-quality. Literary references and a plotline engaging enough that I got the "can we do more?" request a couple nights ago.

But now it's time to get back to the morning routine...

Lunch

2008-02-10T17:06:00.000-05:00

Hey Ray, you'll appreciate this post...

I had lunch with a co-worker of mine who is equal in station but over a decade older, has been running a bigger department for longer and who has published the definitive textbook in his field.

I wanted to talk internal work politics; he wanted to talk religion.

Not just any religion but Christian religion. And not just any Christianity but his version of it which included a huge amount of time telling me how it was my duty as a Christian to make sure my children were raised in the faith. HUGE! I even said at one point "you're sure worried about my kids, aren't you?!?"

Then he told me "all the branches of faith are still looking at Jesus Christ, just different aspects of him." When I asked "what about all the other faiths? Aren't their gods also just as true? If they follow the rules of their religions won't they go to their heavens too?" I got some wordy bullshit that was covering up "if you're not a Christian it doesn't count."

He slid right past my "I start at 'human' and work up from there" rhetoric and started trying to get me to bring my kids to his church. Had some throwaway comment about Judaism to make which revealed way too much underlying anti-Semitism for my taste and insisted on showing me an Adrian Rogers website....whereupon I told him "you should be honored. I haven't let anyone proselytize me this much in years."

He doesn't even play by his own rules: when I expressed serious shock that he routinely takes Communion in Catholic churches (he's Protestant) he gave me a whole shuck-n-jive why that was okay. Then laughed out loud and said "all right! " when I told him the local Episcopalian church celebrated Communion with sherry but subsequently launched into how he thought sharing from a chalice was "so unsanitary" and how therefore he always went by tincture even when offered the chalice by a priest: he either takes just the Host and refuses the chalice or else dips it himself.

I don't consider myself really a Christian anymore but even I think that is 1) rude as a guest whether you believe or not 2) not consistent with the whole "community spirit and sharing" part of the faith and 3) evidence that you don't truly believe in your God even enough to trust that s/he/it/they will keep you from getting sick due to germs shared during worship of that selfsame God.

Icky. And PUSHY.

I sat there thinking "look, dude, just because I told you once in passing that I'd been raised in the Methodist church does not mean I agree with any of this."

The worst part of it is that now I'm going to have a hard if not impossible time not taking his work advice with a huge grain of salt.

Flowers!

2008-02-10T17:04:00.001-05:00

The amaryllis bulb my mother sent me for Christmas is doing its thing:

Pictures

2008-02-03T08:41:00.001-05:00

The knitting:

The basket is full of an Aran-style cardigan for Youngest Duckling; the perennial bed is full of sleet.

The large bit is the back and the smaller bit is the left front.

When contemplating far too many cable patterns in the book I had a flash of inspiration: let her choose the ones she liked. I think she did a good job.

The Not Knitting:

A vintage Springbok puzzle just after Christmas

And our traditional Christmas Cookie Adventure...sometime after the day itself but before Epiphany; can't remember which night exactly.

Book Blurb:

2008-01-30T07:33:00.000-05:00

Remember how much I disliked Lisey's Story?

Yeah well, his new one more than makes up for it. Stayed up till past one two nights running to finish the thing and it was a helluva ride.

If some books are a tasty bag of potato chips then Duma is a loaf of chewy-dense freshly baked bread...or maybe a tin of really rich brownies. It's the good stuff, my friends. On lots of levels: it's all there.

Oh Yeah, and in the Microcosm...

2008-01-23T19:32:00.000-05:00

...Big change at House of Chaos.

MIL doesn't live here any more.

The phrase I've used with some of my office staff is "The experiment has proven unsuccessful."

The ones we use with Autisic Brother-in-Law are "Your brother kicked her out because she was too mean," and "She was too mean so your brother kicked her out."

Of course the complicating bit is that this all happened right before she left for yet another extended trip to Brazil. Imagine explaining that much uncertainty to ABIL. (Go ahead...imagine, dammit! That's what I've been doing these past twenty-five minutes!)

Oh and also....

Being The Boss is definitely both RHIR and RHIP (oddly enough I had to explain "RHIR" [but only "RHIR"] to my new boss, The CEO) especially in the face of our Budget Crisis.

This book is still a most excellent read (and quick too.)

I have one amaryllis that definitely will bloom, one that might (I've tried to convince last year's that it's had an entire winter) and three hyacinth bulbs in near-full bloom.

I'm falling into my low time...when the days are noticeably longer but there is still so very much winter left.

Eldest has become such a Teenager.
I'm torn between admiring how much better she does thirteen than I did and wanting to beat her senseless.

Post Scriptum: Special thanks to my one Faithful Reader...it's noticed and appreciated.

Just Read...

2008-01-23T10:50:00.001-05:00

http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080123/ap_on_go_pr_wh/misinformation_study

....and tell me: Is anyone really SURPRISED?

Just When...

2007-12-21T12:37:00.000-05:00

...I think it might be time for him to retire, he goes and gives us what we needed--a war anthem:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t0huRJvnsOE&feature=related

It's a little simplistic and I'll freely admit I have no idea who Cass Dillon is but it's still plenty powerful.

Props to my mother for mentioning it.

I Made Something

2007-12-16T07:43:00.001-05:00

See?

The yarn is from Schaefer, calls itself "Jane Addams," was an unexpected (and most appreciated) birthday present and is all my favorite colors.

I've since fixed the neckline so it doesn't gap and pull away so much. Real-world debut is tomorrow.

(yes those are leopard-print outing-flannel pajama bottoms; thank you so much for noticing.)

Disney One -- Transportation

2007-12-11T07:31:00.000-05:00

So as if you didn't already know I was insane we went and proved it--took the Whole Family (yes, all seven of us including Mother and Brother in Law) to the Land of Mouse a couple weeks back. Thought I'd share....

So usually I do the whole chronological-events travelogue thing but this time I think I'll try something different. This time we'll do it by CATEGORIES. You know, like "food at Disney" "the rooms at Disney" "The Magic Kingdom"...that sort of thing. Why? Because it might be easier to read and it will definitely be easier to write.

We'll start with "Disney Transportation: To, Within and From"

TO Disney

Getting to Disney wasn't as easy as I'd hoped it would be. When we took The Big Two in 2003, we had a car and driver meet us at baggage claim to drive us to the Contemporary so of course I wanted to do that again. It seemed even more important since our group had grown to seven, one of whom was a special-needs adult. So of course when I called to set up the trip I specifically ASKED for a driver and was told "I can put you on Disney's Magic Express." Nope, that's not what I wanted. I tried to explain that we would be happy to pay extra for the car and driver and got told "we don't offer that service any longer but we DO offer the Magic Express Transportation Option." (Yes you could hear those capital letters clear through.)

Well fine...give us that then. I was thinking that "Magic Express" meant "vans" and that therefore "party of seven" meant "will end up getting our own van to ourselves anyhow." Not that I had a lot of choice in the matter. So I agreed to the "Transportation Option" and we received some bright yellow luggage tags so that our bags could go straight from the plane to the hotel...we were warned that our checked things might not show up to the hotel till 3 or 4 hours after we did but that we were NOT required to be in our rooms to receive them. I was still thinking "panel van" and also "how many people could be coming from ALBANY?" so I thought our luggage would likely travel with us after all. Remember those thoughts.

Meanwhile, remembering our rotten layovers the last time we flew to Orlando, we had decided to go with a nonstop flight this time. Turned out that the only airline offering nonstop service from Albany to Orlando was Southwestern....who didn't have assigned seats. Yup, you read that correctly--that airline doesn't assign seats. Used to be that you lined up at the gate like a bus and that everyone was clustered around the jetway for a good hour prior to fly-time but now they've got an "improved" system wherein they assign you to either group A, B, or C and then assign you a number from 1 to about 60 depending on when you printed up your boarding pass. Group A boards first (and gets all the really choice seats) while groups B and C go second and third. We were numbers 1-7 in boarding Group B out of Albany so we ended up sitting as a nice group in the very back of the plane going out.

Surprisingly we had a "fun" flight crew. By that I mean they didn't take themselves too seriously at all -- the woman doing the voice-over for the safety demonstration said things like "in case of a sudden drop in cabin pressure, insert twenty-five cents and a mask will drop down...." and "if you are seated next to a child or someone who is just ACTING like a child, be sure to adjust your own mask first before deciding whether or not to help the person next to you." She also said things like "if you have any connecting flights...we don't care because we're done for the day" and "Iadies and gentlemen, please notice that my boyfri---I mean the captain---has turned on...." Everyone was in a good mood and it was fun.

Didn't stay that way though. Only after landing and walking down the jetway did I realize that the next part of our journey involved tickets. Yup, we were supposed to go to the first level of the "A" side of the terminal and find the Disney Welcome Center so that we could obtain our Magic Express seating. About the time I was making that realization my brother-in-law (remember? He's Special Needs, Autistic Flavor) realized that he could have all sorts of fun by acting out---and by "acting out" I mean grimacing, making weird noises and squeezing his head between his hands. The exact sort of thing that gets a lot of stares and drives his mother's blood pressure straight up into the stratosphere taking the tension level of the entire party with it.

BIL acted up on the walk to the tram, on the tram itself and afterwards as well. MIL responded with anger and threats to turn around and take him right back home again. They entered into their usual dysfunctional dyad while the rest of us were discovering that "Magic Express" meant big ol' Greyhound bus repainted. Not thrilling.

Even less thrilling was when we got to sit on the bus while it waited for two other flights to come in. We decided then and there we were taking a taxi BACK to the airport.

Eventually the bus had enough people and we drove the half-hour to our resort...and they DID have video screens showing us all the latest new Disney rides but of course our resort was the LAST on the route. However we did finally get there and get ourselves unloaded and checked in..."The Hotel" will be its own category eventually.

WITHIN Disney:

Transportation consists primarily of the monorail and a huge part of why we were in the Contemporary was because the monorail goes right THROUGH the hotel. Last time even though we went during a traditionally busier time of year the monorail wasn't very crowded at the hotel stops and our kids were able to ride in the front a couple of times then actually declined the offer a couple more times.

This time the monorails were quite crowded. The first couple rides we couldn't figure out why...but it eventually became obvious. Scooters.

By "scooters" I mean those not-so-little motorized go-carts with bicycle handlebars:

http://www.mobilityexpress.com/items.cfm?cat=scooters

One of the BIGGEST differences (and yes I use that adjective precisely) between our visit in 2003 and our visit this year was the explosion in scooter use. We saw those things EVERYWHERE (I've even attached a photo I took of one at Epcot--see?)

The reason the monorails were so crowded is because ONE scooter occupies the standing room that three or four humans could occupy...and the reason they were moving so slowly is because each scooter had to wait for a Cast Member to put a corrugated metal ramp up to the monorail door to enter or exit.

Our family grew to hate those damned scooters. Sure Disney requires a lot of walking; that's just part OF it. Used to be that the choice was either "get myself in reasonable enough shape to DO the walking or rent a small folding wheelchair and make sure I've got a traveling companion who doesn't mind pushing me when it gets to be too much." Not any more---now anyone with a "mobility issue" can go zipping around using fossil fuel to run over small children. (Okay nobody on a scooter actually ran over a child but I did see a couple kids take glancing blows from those maroon menaces.)

To my daugter's and my eye the biggest "mobility issue" was "BMI past 40." Dammit those are the very people who should be walking! (I should know; after losing four pounds at Disney my own BMI is still 30.9.) The second biggest "mobility issue" was "my arthritis" and yes I understand that the scooters make it possible for Grandma or Grandpa to actually go see Disney World with their family members (and therefore retain more control over the pursestrings) but one would think that Grandma or Grandpa would have inspired enough good will among his or her relatives to have at least ONE of them willing to push a wheelchair, wouldn't you? Nope, saw it more than once on the monorail: the motorized old person was entirely on his or her own while the remaining family members just barged on or off as they pleased and let the Disney staff deal with their loved one.

The entire family remembers walking in the Magic Kingdom from Tomorrowland to Fantasyland and being outpaced by a trio of large individuals on their matching rented-in-Orlando scooters---one of us was even witty enough to comment "Look--it's Hell's Fat Angels" but tasetful enough to do so AFTER they'd passed.

Since it isn't technically "transportation" I won't get into how the motorized-scooter set thought/insisted that their "disabilities" should get them all sorts of benefits and special seating at the attractions/rides. I'll aslo save the particularly obnoxious family on the monorail for the "Disney Patrons" section.

Transportation FROM Disney:

Since we, particularly BIL, were far less than thrilled with "Disney's Magical Express" I called to arrange cab service for the return trip to the Orlando airport. Our hotel concierge was kind enough to transfer me to the Yellow Cab company but not kind enough to tell me I needed to cancel my "Magical Express" reservations---I did that just to be safe and was damned glad I did when I found out that yes indeed that was a necessary step to prevent being charged Iforgethowmuch for no-show.

So fine, I called Southwest airlines to find out how far in advance we really needed to be at the airport and was told "An hour and---no, wait. Orlando? On a Friday? Better make it two hours." Made all the arrangements backwards from there. Our van arrived on time in front of the lobby--fellow who answered his cellphone in a language none of us recognized and who had the velcro on his windshield for the EasyPass tolls but no actual module. We concluded from his average cruising speed of eighty that he'd likely lost his EasyPass privileges for speeding through tollbooths. His credit-card reader didn't work so we ended up exhausing the reserve cash to pay 64.50 for the ride and he ended up getting a bigger tip than I'd intended but at least we GOT there.

Once there we discovered that neither check-in nor security had taken as long as we'd feared so we had over an hour to wait at the gate...and exceptionally lousy "general seating" boarding passes. I thought "yeah, but the plane still can't be THAT crowded; how many people are going from Orlando to ALBANY?" I thought wrong: the plane had originated in Fort Lauderdale and was more than 1/3 full when it pulled into our gate.

By the time we got on the plane everybody had done the same thing: taken window or aisle seats leaving just the middle open even if they were traveling as a group. Our stewardesses started getting nasty when people were still milling about looking for seats five minutes past the time we were supposed to have pulled out and of course NONE of our family got to sit together. BIL got stashed in a back corner, Middle Duckling got a window seat three rows from the back and two groups of two were kind enough to change from Window/Aisle to Window/middle so that Youngest could sit on the aisle and Eldest could sit on the aisle in the row across and behind her to keep an eye on her. HBF got stuck between two little old ladies traveling together; they reluctantly let him have the aisle seat when it became obvious they'd have to talk over him. I was between a chatty slightly dotty old woman on the aisle and a quiet voluntarily bald man my own age who wore nice gold jewelry and mostly played with his Blackberry. MIL, having the luck of the gods, ended up with fifth-row aisle.

That flight crew was NOT cheery; they practically threw the peanut packs at us. But hey, we eventually got back to Albany. Once there I was surprised to discover no snow on the ground....drove back in the dark but at least it was totally -dry-. Two hours after we'd unlocked the front door and greeted the kitties I was surprised to discover snow on the deck---we timed our return trip entirely correctly for once.

So that was Disney Transportation and somewhat gloomy...the next installment will be "The Magic Kingdom" which is way happier.

So Like...

2007-12-01T16:20:00.000-05:00

...You've figured out I haven't been here in ages.

Still alive but having enough trouble maintaining contact with the wetware (ie fellow humans I know/have known in the actual face-to-face flesh) to have any time left for virtual companions.

Also I might be so over this blog thing; still not sure about that one.

I trust you are all well---that "email me" link at the top of my blog does in fact work.

Peace out....

From/For Ray:

2007-11-07T07:12:00.000-05:00

38. Tag 5 people who would do this survey. Uhhhh… 5 who WOULD or who I would like to see do it? I haven’t a clue, and I don’t like asking other people to do stuff like this. I think the only person who actually WOULD do this (Lord know she’s done enough of this sort of thing) would be the younger of my sisters, but she doesn’t read here. (Funny, but out of all my sibs and kids and grands, there’s only two that I know of who read here at all, and I don’t imagine either of those two would do this)

1. Name one person who made you laugh last night? My husband.

2. What were you doing at 0800? Yesterday? Sitting in a re-education meeting for my blood bank technicians.

3. What were you doing 30 minutes ago? Getting dressed.

4. What happened to you in 2006? Oh gosh, that was a strange waiting-for-things-to-happen kind of year...I learned the value of Actual Cash.

5. What was the last thing you said out loud? ”...new snow accumulation of one to two INCHES” (to my son, just before blogsurfing.)

6. How many beverages did you have today? Working on my second glass of brewed iced tea right now.

7. What color is your hairbrush? Light blue.

8. What was the last thing you paid for? Five bottles of Lipton brewed lemon-flavored iced tea.

9. Where were you last night? Home. Playing Worlds of Warcraft.

10. What color is your front door? Red.

11. Where do you keep your change? In my right-hand coat pocket.

12. What’s the weather like today? Slushy, high of 41.

13. What’s the best ice-cream flavor? Breyer's Rocky Road.

14. What excites you? Conversations with friends.

15. Do you want to cut your hair? Oh maybe...the ends need trimmed but I like the length okay.

16. Are you over the age of 25? By 16 years.

17. Do you talk a lot? Yes.

18. Do you watch the O.C.? What's "The O.C."?

19. Do you know anyone named Steven? Yes--one of the doctors with whom I work is a Steven. I don't think I currently know any Stephens personally, however.

20. Do you make up your own words? No.

21. Are you a jealous person? No.

22. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘A’. Two of my kids and my very dearest knitting friend all have names starting with "A."

23. Name a friend whose name starts with the letter ‘K’. Y'know I don't think I have any right now.

24. Who’s the first person on your received call list? The Harry and David Company called again last night--I let the machine get it.

25. What does the last text message you received say? It was the phone company telling me my bill had been paid--I simply Do Not Text.

26. Do you chew on your straw? No.

27. Do you have curly hair? No.

28. Where’s the next place you’re going to? The end of the driveway to wait for the schoolbus.

29. Who’s the rudest person in your life? Ray's answer is so perfect I'm stealing it entirely: "Wouldn’t it be rude of me to point that out? And if I DID point them out, they probably wouldn’t be IN my life any more."

30. What was the last thing you ate? A toasted flour tortilla with peanut butter. Yes you may laugh.

31. Will you get married in the future? I AM married.

32. What’s the best movie you’ve seen in the past 2 weeks? I haven't sat through an entire movie in that long I'm sure...but the best one I mostly saw was Stripes on DVD.

33. Is there anyone you like right now? Ohferpitysake.

34. When was the last time you did the dishes? Maybe two weeks ago?

35. Are you currently depressed? No.

36. Did you cry today? No...nor yesterday either though I thought about it a couple of times. (Middle-aged hormonal fluctuations are my punishment for having thought PMS was all in older womens' heads back in my twenties.)

37. Why did you answer and post this? See #38 at top of post.

Add My Voice to the Choir

2007-11-04T11:42:00.000-05:00

I know I'm not the first to blog this thought nor will I have anything interesting to add, but I simply must vent:

When did we decide it was OKAY for All Souls Day to become the official start of the Christmas Season?!?

Do we really need two full months to prepare for this holiday? The secular kick-off of "Day after Thanksgiving" tends to coincide relatively well with the religious kick-off of "First Sunday of Advent."

I know--all the better to get people to Buy More Stuff. But really.

Birthday Camera

2007-10-31T21:19:00.001-04:00

The very first picture:

Flowers from my staff:

One of my cool special effects to highlight the fiberoptics bundle:

Oh yeah...the camera.

RHIP

2007-10-26T14:55:00.000-04:00

One of the benefits of being The Boss is that you can spend an entire afternoon quietly goofing off in your office reading your new book and nobody will hassle you.

Something Visual

2007-10-21T22:16:00.000-04:00

(...That's not too abysmal...)

The finished mittens for Eldest:

The finished glittens for myself:

They look like some sort of crustacean claw, don't they?

Just this evening I bound off the top of a small plain hat out of the rest of Ray's "Happy" yarn--two mittens and a hat from one skein! (Go buy some, y'heah?)

And also:

On Friday September 21 I chopped off every last bit of anything still blooming to make an impromptu bouquet. Damned if my bee balm didn't up and send forth three more new blooms which are only now starting to fade.

Behold: still blooming on Sunday, October 21, 2007 in Zone Freaking THREE.

Something Textual

2007-10-17T09:33:00.001-04:00

Yeah, yeah, I've been completely absent from the blogging world for a while. Oh wait, I forgot: we're the blogosphere when the talking newsheads are trying to sound trendy by mentioning us. Bite my tired keyboard ya morons; you'll impress me far more by learning how to speak the language.

Can you tell I'm a weensy bit cranky today?

Catch-up: My crazy mother came and went without major incident; we can thank hotel pools, complicated jigsaw puzzles and knitting for keeping me from going completely bugfuck while in her presence and wine for keeping me from doing same after she went back to her hotel room. She and Youngest Duckling hit it off pretty well which was a good thing since the Big Two didn't much care for her. I was surprised both at how much she'd aged in the past four years and at how much anger I had bubbling up each night.

But hey, I've done the Right Thing and lived through it which is more than can be said for many.

Also finished Eldest's blue-and-white mittens and am very nearly done with those glittens I showed you last post. Yeah yeah I know they're more correctly called "shooter's mittens" but since I don't currently shoot and have no plans to purchase firearms the half-glove-half-mitten moniker works just fine.

Did these puzzles too. Started them with Mom as something to do on the last day of her stay (10/8) then finished them the following Saturday night. Guess what are now mod-podged permanently together and packaged for mailing her way?

What I haven't been doing much is blogging. Partly because I've been waiting to get a new digital camera and partly because I've been having enough trouble maintaining correspondence with the people I've actually met in the flesh...but largely because my tiny corner of the virtual world just hasn't seemed that relevant lately. Writing is a selfish and time-consuming occupation and there are so many people doing it better and more frequently both in virtual and paper forms that my own words of wit have faded.

Some of the print words which have impressed me of late are these. So much so that I think hers may be the book everyone gets from me for Christmas this year.

(For the virtual words which impress and amuse me you have my blogroll.)

I gotta get back to the Real World now....

Happy Glittens

2007-10-04T07:22:00.000-04:00

I need another project like I need a full-body tattoo but last Friday night after stopping by a wake I cast on for this:

The yarn is Ray's "Happy" which has to help, right?

As mentioned previously, mittens are a good judge of how much Actual Knitting one is doing since they go pretty quickly. Although you can't see them I started the decreases on the little-finger side last night.

For those of you wondering, the plastic yarn needle is what I've been using as a cable stitch holder. All my plastic knitting pins are either in use or MIA so I've had to make do with a poor second.

A True Story

2007-09-27T11:00:00.000-04:00

I’m beginning to question the wisdom of reading Pigs In Heaven, which is all about mother-love, right before my own mother is due for a visit. Here’s a little something to help explain the questioning.

At the end of my residency I had to take my two-part Boards exams to be a fully qualified member of my profession. Our Boards are notoriously hard with an exceptionally high fail rate (so high the regulatory body won’t publish it.) They are a two-day test with one part each day—first day is the traditionally "easy" part and second day is the traditionally "hard" part. I was coping with a new baby, a new job and a recent move so I didn’t study nearly the way I should’ve done. I spent all my time on the "hard" part and pretty much entirely blew off the "easy" part thinking I would skate by on accumulated knowledge.

You can see where this is going, can’t you? Sure you can. I wasn’t even halfway through the "easy" day when I realized that there was just no way I was going to pass that half of the test. (I didn’t, either ; passed the re-take instead.) You know the horrible sinking feeling you get when you can’t eliminate even one of the four multiple-choice options? Imagine pages upon pages of that feeling. For hours. I walked out of that exam room feeling like I’d just had the mental equivalent of a lubeless biker gang bang in all orifices.

Biggest test of my life and I’d just failed half. It wasn’t pretty at all.

After crying in my hotel room for a while, checking with the family and crying a bit more, I called my mother. She had been quite interested in the whole Boards process and I’d promised her I would call at the end of each day and again once I flew safely back from Florida. I thought that a mother would be good for sympathy and commiseration, right?

Well, not exactly. She brushed off all my concerns and fears with "Oh you always think you didn’t do well right after a test but I’m sure you passed."

"No Arnold**, you don’t understand. I know I failed that half. I’m just worried about being able to do anything with the other half tomorrow."

"Oh I’m sure you didn’t…I’ve got a really good feeling about it."

We did about four or five variations of that same conversation during which point I watered up again at least once. Never did get her to acknowledge my position at all. Never got anything even remotely close to the comforting I needed either. Even something like "well you’re still a good person honey, and we all still love you just as much! Don’t worry; I know it seems like the end of the world right now but there really are worse things that can happen. This really is just a test and you can always take it again" would have gone a long way.

Nope, none of that.

Flash forward two days. I took the "hard" half of the test (passed that part with flying colors first time out; go figure) flew home and was taking a much-needed vacation day. The telephone rang. Turned out to be the local florist wanting to know "if someone would be home to accept a delivery from [my mother]." Yes, of course.

While waiting, Hubby and I had a conversation about the fact that my mother was being sweet and was probably trying to make up for the fact that she hadn’t been supportive on the phone in the way I’d needed at the time. We thought it was a nice gesture and were feeling all warm and friendly toward her. I recalled that when a family member had finished a degree in my childhood she’d sent a dozen yellow roses and so was half expecting the same.

I got an inkling something might not be quite right when I saw the expression on the delivery man’s face through the window. Giving people flowers is a happy job so it’s unusual for the person handing them over to look both confused and sad. I got a bigger clue when I heard the strangely flat voice in which Hubby said "Um…thanks."

My mother had sent me two dozen helium balloons….every one of them pitch black.

Yes, you read that right. Less than forty-eight hours after I’d told her through tears that I’d failed at least half of the hardest test in my life, I was the recipient of twenty-four black balloons.

The card was a "Congratulations!" card on the outside and had "congratulations on your recent accomplishments—love Arnold**" on the inside.

No wonder the delivery guy looked the way he did.

Hubby was so sweet he actually thought there must have been some sort of mix-up at the florist. He said more than once "when you call your mother she is gonna be pissed at [name of local florist!] She’s gonna chew them a new one for sure!"

I knew better.

It took me over an hour to work up the emotional energy to call her at her workplace to let her know her balloons had arrived. I doubt I would’ve called at all if Hubby hadn’t persisted with the idea that it MUST be some sort of mixup because nobody would do that on purpose. Hope does indeed spring eternal.

I decided to play it ultra-cool.

I said "I wanted to let you know your balloons came and to say ‘thank you’ so…well…THANKS!"

"Well you’re very welcome…I was worried they might not get there today but the florist [LONG too-detailed monologue about the ordering process. No mention of color/style/sentiment.]"

"well thanks again…" [I wasn’t going to mention the color if she didn't.]

We got almost completely off the phone when she finally had to throw out there "I bet you’re wondering why they’re black…."

"Well, the thought HAD crossed my mind…"

Are you ready? Here it is:

Back in ninteen sixty-three I graduated on Saturday but your father didn’t graduate till the following Monday after we got married so I got to sit in the stands and watch him and everyone else. Back then the medical school was down on that campus and not up in Indianapolis where it is now and so the new medical students were all graduating too. Well when they stood up to turn their tassels everyone in the stands released black helium balloons in the air and I was just so impressed by that over all these years that I wanted to recognize you that way too.

Yeah, I know.

Denoument:

I ended up popping all the balloons later that night as therapy. I had many long discussions with my mother in which she would never once budge from her "I did it to honor you" position. She further insisted that she wasn’t going to apologize because there was nothing to apologize FOR. (Yes, even after my then-six-year-old said "...but Grandma, black is the color of hate!" )

So I quit speaking to her completely.

If I’d had any sense I would have left it that way…but I didn’t. In the aftermath of The Events Of Nine-Eleven (as my then-four-year-old said, "they bombed our two cities") I ended up calling her to let her know that none of my in-laws (some of which she thought were still working in the Twin Towers) had been harmed.

And now here we are.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
** yes at the time I called my mother "Arnold." It’s a long story for another day.

Pictures Instead

2007-09-24T22:42:00.001-04:00

As Juno your case worker said: Use your talents...go with what you know:

The knitting basket...two shots:

And in the words of every op note everywhere: next attention was turned toward the....

...bare-looking bulb bed where the pine trees were chopped down this spring. I pulled all the morning glory vines off a couple weeks back in preparation for this:

All those lovely bulbs shipped this week. My mother will be helping put them in the ground when she's here and believe it or not sounds excited about that fact.

Textual...not.

2007-09-23T14:29:00.000-04:00

Funny...the long text-only post I thought I'd be writing was going to be about the DAR.

But those women pale in comparison to the one about to visit, namely my own mother.

She's due to arrive Friday October 5 and I'm already well on my way to basket case. The words I used at the liquor store to the owner and family who know that MIL lives with us were "MY mother, bless her crazy heart [hand to chest gesture], is coming to visit."

I thought I'd blog about that...then realized it was just too big an elephant to attempt to eat in public.

Also I remembered Nick's wise words: Know thyself but please don't talk about it.

So just never mind.

Still Around...

2007-09-20T11:33:00.000-04:00

...but real life is getting in the way of blogging.

Working on a longish text-only piece that I hope will show up someday.

Or not.

Not much knitting happening either; could measure the progress in stitches rather than rows.

As If I Didn't Know:

2007-09-14T21:52:00.001-04:00

By Request

2007-09-14T08:14:00.001-04:00

Mitten Photos

Palm side:

Showing off the nearly-done thumb:

Extreme close-up:

in situ:

And a shot of my dying perennial garden because it was right there.

Happy Friday all...I had a Really Great Week and hope yours were all swell too.

The Purple Sweater

2007-09-09T11:49:00.000-04:00

Decided it wanted to become a raglan-sleeved cardigan.

With pockets. Careful observers will also notice a few more rounds on that mitten-thumb.

I didn't have much time for knitting this weekend though--I was in a parade playing Famous Local Physician on a then-and-now float which came in second only to the Girl Scouts who were Completely Adorable.

The Ducklings

2007-09-09T11:06:00.000-04:00

went back to school on Wednesday:

After A Week

2007-09-06T10:19:00.000-04:00

Larry Craig is starting to bore me. I've heard that taped interview too damned many times and firmly believe he was lying about what-all he did and the undercover police officer was telling the truth. Also that the kind of lying ("Did our feet touch? You say they did...") was insulting in how poorly it was done; my kids aren't even legal adults and can already do better than that. Therefore my personal opinion of his sleaze is forever fixed (particularly given those "nasty boy" comments about Bill Clinton...didn't someone famous mention something once about who gets to throw stones?)

However, since I think "sting" operations of any kind are rotten business categorically and would think it interesting rather than disgusting to see people Doing It between** two bathroom stalls (they must look really silly) I'm not sure he should've been arrested in the first place. He's dumb for pleading guilty though, and a HUGE hypocrite in any case.

Watching a bold-faced liar fight the rap might be both eerily fascinating and hugely depressing: rather like The Tin Drum.

** The internet is an amazing thing. When that story broke my mental model was that after a deal had been brokered the participants shared one stall (which would explain why patrons might complain; the handicapped stall is the largest and a disabled person would be righteously indignant at having to wait for a sex act to finish.) Thanks to the power of Google I now know more about anonymous semi-public sex and "cruisy bathrooms" than a fat middle-aged mother of three has any business knowing. It's an interesting and apparently totally male-only subculture.

Always The Knitting

2007-08-30T21:12:00.000-04:00

Yes folks, there are three projects in the basket right now...even though there's usually only one project "live" enough for the honor. I stalled out on the whole Mitten Project at the fourth row of the thumb as you can see above...but won't they be nice if I can get another few hours of motivation before the first frost?

The dull-by-comparison brown striped bits of knitting are a couple triangles for the Endless Afghan I started ages ago; normally it lives in its own zippered plastic bedding bag but I was sick of working with two colors and couldn't figure out what Tiggers liked to eat next...

...till the new-project bug bite finally started to wheal up into something:

The "something" started out with a punctum: "y'know...you really need a purple sweater. Not only did you just get that promotion but Eldest is always saying 'you need a little more color' and you've actually admitted that your fashion statement seems to be 'camouflage.'"

Swatching led me to realize that the rapidly developing itch was not going to be satisfied at a gauge anywhere near five stitches to the inch--for me that's US zeros, ones and twos. Solved that problem when I realized I'd serendipitously acquired TWO bags of purple yarn for the stash and combined one strand of Ray's Down-Home worsted with one strand of KnitPicks Crayon.

I also liked that option because I find all-wool to be hot but all-cotton to be not very bouncy. The combo-ball knits up at 3 stitches to the inch (my US size four needles) to produce a lovely cuddly-soft fabric with miserable stitch definition. What you don't see is my three nights worth of playing with knit-purl patterns all of which vanished into the color and texture.

What you also don't see is anything more than a back because I don't know where the thing is going yet. I've never started the Actual Knitting with so little plan before; I haven't even figured out whether I'm making a pullover or a cardigan. I got as far as "seed stitch makes a nice border" before "oh let's just start knitting already" took over.

So I did.

And now for something completely different:

Go watch THIS

The truth can be SO very funny, can't it?

Oh Yeah, Senator Craig:

2007-08-29T21:30:00.000-04:00

He may not be "gay" but having same-sex encounters in public restrooms which he kept hidden from his wife certainly isn't the accepted connotation of "straight." At minimum it makes him repeatedly "bi-curious" which is hard to accept semantically: once curiosity were initially satisfied then one would know whether one leaned that way or not, no?

Oh screw all that tolerance bullshit. He's a self-hating hypocritical as all hell fucked in the head individual who needs to get his head out of his ass and just BE who he sexually IS because life is short and love is good....but that would mean giving up his privileged life on the public dole.

The sleaziest part of the whole thing for me was giving the undercover officer his business card. What I think about THAT is that he's an arrogant prick.

Okay, that whole "naughty boy" bit about then-President Clinton runs an awfully close second.

The horrible slam against all of us as theoretically civilized humans though, is the incredible HYPOCRISY.

Obi-wan was right: Never trust a politician.

It's beginning to look like "U.S. Republican Party" is a synonym for "the closeted homosexuals club."

Hey females: Anyone know a public restroom frequented by sex workers?

Gee, Who Knew?

2007-08-28T22:14:00.000-04:00

The Minnesota airport, Union Station, Georgetown Park -- I had no idea public men's rooms were all whorehouses.

Oh, forgive me, I meant "places frequented by sex workers."

I'm not offended mind you, just surprised: women's rooms aren't like that.

The Garden Is Winding Down:

2007-08-25T16:22:00.001-04:00

That's the very last pink Asian lily dying on the vine:

And here's the very last of any of the Asian lilies, which concludes the flower beds on that entire side of the house.

The carnations which I thought wouldn't bloom at all actually did on their first year out:

Far more than I expected them to do.

The Red Perennial Garden was a great success its first year out,although you can tell I cheated a couple weeks ago and only weeded the side that shows from the road.

Obviously...

2007-08-20T20:11:00.000-04:00

...that previous post was quite dated as we're now BACK from the Philly trip and have been since Saturday night.

Good trip but there's been a lot of life happening faster than usual so regular blogging isn't likely to return all that quickly. In the meanwhile I give you Logan Square.

First by day...

And then by night...

Quickie Text

2007-08-15T23:07:00.000-04:00

Went to the neighboring county fair on Sunday for the sole purpose of riding rides. Good stuff till the Big Two got sick (in one case literally) of riding rides.

Asian lilies on the way out but damned if the beebalm didn't send up a whole bunch of new shoots after the phlox bloomed. Then the carnations started after I didn't even think they would. For the first year of a perennial bed it's been just incredible.

I finally managed to finish the body of the Mitten-for-Eldest which has been on the needles for simply ever...but have only done about three rows of thumb. Hoping to get more excited now that fall is sneaking in at the edges up here.

Am playing Famous Local in an upcoming parade complete with vintage costume.

Off to Philadelphia for a long weekend including the Four Seasons and King Tut...first ANY kind of vacation in a year and three months and first HOTEL vacation since 2004. Excited I am. Like Yoda it makes me speak.

More Lilies

2007-08-09T07:18:00.001-04:00

Flower Power

2007-08-08T19:54:00.001-04:00

The County Fair

2007-08-08T12:10:00.000-04:00

It had been more than twenty years since I'd been to a county fair and the Ducklings had no idea what I was talking about so we went to the Hinterlands County Fair last weekend.

The fairgrounds were about forty-five minutes away and aside from "animals and rides and food" my kids didn't have a clue what to expect. We parked at the first place I saw which was a big yard with a hand-lettered sign saying "Park all day $3.00" put there by a redheaded kid who replied to my "we pay you?" with "yeah I gotta get my truck fixed" even though he didn't look old enough to drive.

The Ducklings were completely underwhelmed by the parking and the fact that they couldn't see anything "festive" from the road so I messed with their heads further by starting them off in the 4-H Exhibition Building and making them look at aprons, pajama bottoms, woodworking and animal-science posters for a while...the Big Two had nothing but scathing comments for that. You might be interested to know that 4-H seems largely unchanged in thirty years---sure they're doing pajama bottoms instead of drawstring skirts but the apron is intact, the 10x10 gardening is intact and the chocolate chip cookies are still the same.

Livestock barns next...it was absolutely uncanny how much the poultry all hated Eldest Daughter. I mean not just a little but enough so that every single bird in the barn got all edgy and every exhibitor straightened up in his or her seat to see what was messing with their critters. Weird! Youngest thought it was all just great but the Big Two weren't that impressed with our feathered friends...except the big tom turkey in full display.

Turns out Middle Duckling saw a friend of his in the poultry barn but didn't stop to chat--typical guy. We did rabbits briefly and were sad because they reminded us of Candy but there were also some HUGE giant rabbits which were pretty impressive...as big as a beagle for sure. They reminded me of that story from England.

The Midway didn't open till noon so we poked around the exhibition buildings which are the same everywhere. The Hinterlands County Fairgrounds were exactly like the State Fairgrounds of my childhood but on a much smaller scale...except for the prices. Large lemon shake-ups are now $4.50 which I thought was a lot, but given that they were $1.10 in 1983 I suppose it's not too bad. I finally tried a Blooming Onion which is way more food than even two people can manage and not as great as they look in the Outback Steakhouse ad but worth the one-time novelty value. Got some fudge too thinking we'd save it for the family members who stayed home but we ended up eating most of it.

While I was eating (or rather "eating on"; never got more than about a sixth through it) the onion, the kids checked out a T-shirt shop with great tie-dye mostly because Eldest ran up to me saying "Mom, MOM! There's a T-shirt slogan I just HAVE to have!" which turned out to be I may be a cold heartless bitch but at least I’m GOOD at it!

I let the kids have a highly-supervised but technically independent shopping experience in the T-shirt booth where they all got souvenir shirts---Eldest got her slogan on a blue tie-dye, Son got a neat quasi-caduceus on red and Youngest got dolphins on multicolor tie-dye. The shopkeeper was a guy about my age who looked startlingly like an ex-boyfriend of mine (but wasn't, praise be.) He was an awfully good sport about my indecisive Youngest Child and did in fact notice Mama Hen keeping watch with her worm--I mean onion--from the doorway.

Found the wildlife conservation booth run by the family of Eldest's Best Friend--I admire them no end for being willing to put their livelihood where their ethics are but it looks like kind of a tough way to make a living. The mom was chatting up a potential client so we didn't stay but instead went to the "Antique Farming" building nearby. It was a real log cabin about the size of a one-car garage and full of the kind of farm implements that would fit therein--I didn't recognize any of the freestanding stuff other than it looking horse-powered but I was very much reminded of a scene from Prodigal Summer where the protagonist explores an old barn attic.

There were hay hooks and woodworking tools and all sorts of iron things and even Eldest thought it was reasonably interesting. The exhibit was being run by an older guy with a beard who perked right up when I made sure to point out the rigid ox yoke to the children as "the Wii of the year ONE thousand" and how important it was. When Youngest Duckling asked "but why?" I explained "two bulls could work together without choking themselves so you could plow more land and not starve to death in the winter." Eldest tends to poke gentle fun at "Mom's into all that farming stuff" but I think even she gets that we need to remember our agricultural roots…no I won't start quoting Animal, Vegetable, Miracle or anything.

Once our bearded host saw he had a Live One he went over and pointed out another ox yoke made by an acquaintance of his which had the improvement of a wooden turnkey latching system and "washer" for the hoop parts. He and I had a brief discussion about how farming had changed wherein he said "used to be you could work 25, 30 acres and make a living at it; now you have to have hundreds of acres and contracts with this one and that one..." so I shared that my grandparents had an entire farming career on 40 acres in central Indiana. Nice to pay homage to one's roots. It was only on the way out that I clued in that the old man was probably some flavor of Amish.

So after the antique farming implements we did another loop of the grounds wating for the Midway rides to open at noon. Found the public restrooms on the agricultural side to have three nice shower stalls one of which still smelled like Dial soap from a recent user; that was sort of neat. The women's room also had an attendant busily sweeping with her less-than-two-months-old baby girl in a carseat on the counter and a tip jar nearby--Youngest and I paid a buck total to use the facilities and I considered it money well-spent.

We skipped the "famous pig races" to get back to the Midway then turned out to be THE FIRST people on the Ferris wheel because Middle Duckling, having seen many but never been on one, was really keen to ride. (You've already seen the good picture from the top.) It was a good carnival company (Gillette) but damn the rides were expensive---$3 per person meant $12/ride so we did the toboggans (really good superfast ones) and called it a day…but not before I purchased my first "funnel cake" which is a more Northeastern form of fried dough than the "elephant ears" with which I grew up. Of course it was loaded with additives one could taste with every bite but since I'd never had one before it was worth the indigestion. The guy working the booth couldn't take his eyes off Eldest; it was a wonder he didn't deep-fry a couple of fingers.

A great time was had by all…we're considering hitting the nearby county fairs when they occur. Good chat on the way home which started with the Darkmoon Faire, worked its way through medieval Europe and ended up with how our Hinterlands County Fair is the current living incarnation of something dating back to the ox-yoke-equals-high-tech days...my kids seem to be getting the connection.

55 Days:

2007-08-04T19:07:00.001-04:00

June 11, 2007

August 4, 2007

42d 43' 15" N 75d 00' 08" W

100 - 120 frost-free days per growing season.

Life Goes On

2007-08-04T13:50:00.000-04:00

When I put the camera card in the printer just now I discovered this photo taken by Eldest and liked it quite a bit:

I had been looking for the pictures of my new perennial garden:

The glads are so pretty I think I've forgiven them for needing dug up every fall.

My Asian lilies FINALLY started to bloom...

...so of course I took the obligatory close-up shot.

Also we went to the County Fair.

Loads of fun, that...might even give the story a post of its own.

Sad Garden

2007-07-27T07:44:00.000-04:00

Candy the Gippy-Pig died early Wednesday afternoon. Probably a heart attack since she was okay in the morning and had eaten the lettuce I'd given her. She had a pretty significant rectal prolapse (which didn't seem to be getting her down all that much actually) and had been dwindling a bit but it's still rather shocking.

She did indeed have a long full guinea-pig life--average age for a guinea pig is 2-3 years with 4 uncommon and 7 as oldest recorded age so at five she was venerable (Eldest said she was "in the competition for 16th oldest") but of course we're all crushed. She was a Good Critter. Always great to hold and pet, rather like a tiny teddy bear. She was quite demanding of tomato--got to the point where whenever she heard HBF's voice in the kitchen she'd start squeaking. Squeaked for any fresh-smelling fruit or vegetable being cut up in the kitchen and particularly liked lettuce and cantaloupe but not as well as tomato. She loved tomato. She coo-ed in the way all guinea pigs do and was just so damned loveable. Had a bath just a couple days ago.

The funeral itself was low-key. I found a nice cotton scarf that had been Grandmom's to use as a shroud then wrapped the shrouded body in white tissue paper right after I got home. Youngest, who is only seven and hasn't ever seen death close-up before (she was too little when Grandmom died) held the body for a few minutes and was surprised it was stiff and cold. When I put the cage out in the garage I saw that although "Candy liners" had been on the refrigerator whiteboard for three days and I'd been kicking myself for not ordering them sooner we still had three or four left...which was hard for me because this was the FIRST TIME (despite multiple reminders every time the issue came up) that Eldest had remembered to ask for more cage liners before we were completely out and had to use paper towels/newspapers till the new batch came. So I stood there clutching the liners and bawling while thinking of how I'd clutched Grandmom's new L.L. Bean sheets and bawled the same way five years ago.

Proceedings had to be interrupted because MIL and Middle Duckling were due back from their trip to NYC (part of his birthday from Grandmama.) We picked them up at the corner store (where she was mightily pissed at having been waiting a whole five minutes.) Instead of listening to MIL yammer, I went out to the front garden, picked out a nice corner and started digging. That whole process once again reinforced my deep respect for our human cemetery out back since as bad/hard/rocky/heavy as the dirt is up here I'm amazed that anyone dug a real grave in the days before combustion engines. I went to the old stone wall where I knew there was a huge cornerstone lying on the adjacent grass...a couple of years ago when I'd first seen it I attempted to pick it up and couldn't so had thought (a tad morbidly) "when the time comes, that will make an excellent headstone for Candy" and it turned out to be true. Two years of gardening later I could just barely wrestle the stone into the wagon.

We cut all the roses from my last “you got promoted” bouquet down to the length of the shroud, lit a candle and went outside--Youngest volunteered to carry Candy and I thought "crap, she's like me that way." Eldest was planning on not participating (preferring to remember Candy as she was) but ended up coming out after all where she watched as Youngest put the body in the grave, I put the flowers in and said she'd had a good life and been a great pet and that we'd miss her and remember her. Youngest and I were crying profusely by then. Eldest was trying hard to keep it all inside and did. We put the dirt back and as I was struggling to get the headstone upright Eldest decided it needed to be flat on top of the grave so we did that instead...and she was right; it did look far better. We put one rose on top of the stone and left the candle lit on the porch all night.

HBF commented that "making a sandwich will never be the same" and I know he's right because the next morning I was sad all over again at opening a new head of lettuce for BIL's sandwich and not having anyone to eat the outside leaves. Then on my way out to the car I saw that Eldest Duckling had put a tomato on Candy's headstone and completely lost it...cried halfway to the office. Yeah it's not a person but she was a member of the family all the same. Not only am I missing her in my own right and miserable seeing Eldest Duckling grieve but also we got Candy the day before we went to do Hospice for Grandmom so the two are quite linked in my mind. I'll never forget the visual of coming out of Grandmom's bedroom to see a then-two-year-old Youngest Duckling standing IN the cage with a terrified Pig-Pig (that was her nickname) and cedar shavings everywhere.

The remaining three pets seem to have figured out what's going on...they were all quite subdued last night and the dog slept in till an unheard-of seven the following morning then sniffed all over where the cage had been. The two cats seemed fine and were chasing each other when I left. I was intermittently weepy all the next morning...and of course had to tell everyone at the office so they'd know it wasn't them or the job or anything like that. Which makes one feel a little dopey since there's always that little voice in one's head saying "but it wasn't a PERSON so why don't you just snap out of it?!?" Fortunately my department is a caring bunch.

Youngest asked "shouldn't there be writing on it [the stone]?" Well no, it would look tacky...but if there were it would say:

Requiscat In Pacem Candy

August 2002 - July 25 2007

Beloved Gippy-Pig and Good Real Critter

She will be missed.

For the Knitters...

2007-07-25T07:43:00.000-04:00

...who follow this blog I give you a photo update:

First the Mitten Project:

Y'all don't know Eldest but trust me, the whole initials concept suits her well.

Next the Ribbon Experiment:

I'm still not sure where to go. Theoretically that's the front of a pullover for myself but I haven't got any armhole-neck shaping thoughts yet.

And finally, the Whole Leisure Package--both knitting projects and my current book:

(Yeah the photography could always be better...but for last-minute rush job I'm okay with it.)

Unfolding

2007-07-23T13:14:00.000-04:00

The best part about things working out at the office is being out of "crisis mode."

The second best part is not having to move away from the new perennial garden just when it's starting to bloom.

Now if only my Asian lilies would take the hint...

Yes, I know it seems silly to some, but I like it up here in The Hinterlands. Part of why I tossed my hat into the ring for the promotion in the first place was because I enjoy living on a retired apple orchard bordered by running water that I know has been deeded as farmland since the late 1700s. A local dairy family is in the middle of our road, the one at the far end raises chickens and there's an organic farmer in between who sells fantastic granola all over the county. If they blow the tits off the world tomorrow in the form of a big EMP or mining the Strait of Hormuz we'll still do okay...the crossroads with the store, church and restaurant is only a mile and a half around the corner. It's reassuring to live on land that's supported humans for so long; makes me not even mind that the oldest grave in our cemetery is only about fifteen feet from the kitchen door.

Now that we know we're staying, Eldest and I broke out the jigsaw puzzles again...nothing says "gonna be around for a while" like bits of cardboard strewn all over two tables:

We're going to try a vegetable garden next year also--that should be an adventure. I haven't grown anything to eat in just years. I'm also happy to be able to go ahead and order the (cheap from a new-to-me-company) bulbs with which I'd been so smitten right before it looked like the promotion was going to the Other Candidate.

"Settled" is good.

Cheese

2007-07-22T09:26:00.000-04:00

Y'all will no doubt recall my asking "whatinthefuck are enzymes anyhow?" in reference to all the packaged cheese a while back.

I had just about gotten over myself and decided they were nothing. Especially when reminded daily just how damned hard it is to avoid additives in the average American grocery retail experience. So fine, one evening I was picking up milk and teas and thought "hmm, what non-additive thing can I eat tonight?"

Nachos!

Yup, our family's favorite corn chip might be made from Thorne Industries corn (I haven't looked yet; not sure I want to know though I realize I ought), but it happens to be additive free.

A grate of cheddar, a bit of salsa and comfort would be had within ten minutes or less which was key on that particular night. So much so that as I was in the dairy aisle I thought "fuck, you and your time are worth it--grab a package of pre-grated."

Damned if there's not modified food starch in it.

I was just floored. "In the cheese?!?" I asked myself. Well, yes. I just spent a half hour trying to get you fine people a link to an ingredient list and still have an empty clipboard (I think that's rather intriguing in its own right) but I did find this.

I grated my own but the whole thing grated at me...

So I made some mozzerella:

Actually I made something which was supposed to be queso blanco first but it resulted in (tasty) cream cheese. So I bought a kit**:

It turned out well; this was the only bit left after 48 hours:

It's not a bit hard--if you can make a cooked pudding (even from a mix) you're halfway there already. I'm sure I'll be doing it again as soon as the big heavy pot isn't full of deep-frying oil.

Oh and I got yet more congratulatory flowers on Saturday too.

That little arm in the upper right of the background is Youngest Duckling waving to the camera.

** The one recommended by Barbara Kingsolver in Animal, Vegetable, Miracle which I finished last Wednesday. Powerful and wonderful holy book there...like any other prophet it's a lifestyle we likely won't personally attain but to which we can strive in greater or lesser parts. I'm sure you'll be reading more from me about it.

Flowers

2007-07-21T09:26:00.001-04:00

This is the bouquet one of my staff gives me every year from her perennial garden.
Hasn't she got the greenest thumb?

Good thing too, since this is what my perennial garden looks like today.

These flowers

And all three of these bouquets

And these too

Were to celebrate my long-awaited promotion which finally came through last Wednesday. Also lunch, a huge cake and Crocs--it was a Very Sally Field moment.

Still Alive

2007-07-12T07:20:00.000-04:00

Work still uncertain and nasty.

Friends still very good.

Finished the orange "for ME" mittens and realized they weren't mine after all.
On the up side, my mother's October birthday is now covered.
(Knitting Gods aren't letting me knit for myself currently; that's fine by me.)

Started the mittens for Eldest and they're turning out great.

Jersey house "remediation" unexpectedly larger and more expensive. Tenants (rightfully) furious.

Work still sucky and busy and annoying.

Discovered Barbara Kingsolver and fell completely totally head-over-heels in love with Prodigal Summer. I can't remember when I last liked a book that much.

Made one really good loaf of bread and one okay-to-good loaf over the weekend. Had forgotten how primal and soothing that can be. Oh and King Arthur flour IS better than Gold Medal or Pillsbury.

Cleared off the fancy dining room table and laid out a jigsaw puzzle for the first time in over a year.

Found another giant fennel root at the grocery.

Work still wretched.

Discovered that Wii is every bit as fun as the hype suggested. OH is it ever...and healthy too. Nintendo is going to get rich saving the lives of fat technologically advanced kids and I approve. The "boxing" alone rocks...doesn't feel like excercise at all but I worked up enough of a sweat to feel it a bit at the edges today.

One of my lab techs grows flowers and gave me my annual bouquet...yes I took pix which I'll post eventually.

More Knitting

2007-07-01T08:52:00.001-04:00

Mostly done:

I have mixed feelings.
Hope they resolve when the thumb is done.

Meanwhile I cast on for Eldest's pair (which finishes the project.)

(Yes that's part of my right foot in the above shot.) I couldn't decide which of these I liked better so you get both:

Closer view:

Yes I'm Still Around...

2007-06-29T09:32:00.000-04:00

...for the eight or so of you who care, that is. The "work" part of life is particularly sucking right now so I'm uncheery and have nothing left to give to the blog.

Still knitting and have almost finished MY Mittens.

Still trying to stay additive-free since I feel so much better that way but it's damned tough. Am convinced the "less than 2% of..." crap really does trigger eating binges though--remind me to talk about grocery-bakery cake someday.

Speaking of the food...(oh gawd Martha, she's hauling out that damned soapbox again...click!)... whatintheFUCK are "enzymes" ?!?! They're showing up in all the cultured dairy products (except for my beloved local Cora-brand ricotta cheese) now and not only is it a recent (less than 3 months) change but even though we're supposed to think the "enzymes" are the culturing bacteria, they aren't: anything imported lists "bacterial cultures" before and separately from the "enzymes."

We are going to be SOOOooo fucking sorry for letting Thorn Enterprises take over the worldwide food production.

Additive Free

2007-06-22T12:36:00.000-04:00

That’s how I’ve been trying to live this week. It’s been interesting.

Anyone who knows me or has followed this blog for very long knows that I have Big Issues with agri-business, factory food and all the strange additions to the food labels over the past few years. (The most recent is "soy lecithin" but I digress.)

So fine, I thought I’d put my money where my mouth was…or in this case my mouth where my ideology was. One week with no additives at all, starting Sunday. MIL is only too happy to do the cooking for the rest of the house so I didn’t even have to take anyone along for the ride with me.

In post-millennial consumer-driven America it isn’t as easy to eat additive-free as one might expect. The first step is to accept up-front that there will be no prepackaged starches or sauces of any kind…and not as many dairy products as you’d think because all the yogurt and most of the cream or cottage cheeses have been adulterated. You have to read every damned label of every damned product since even the canned chicken has modified food starch now.

So fine. On Sunday I had old-fashioned plain oatmeal and a handful of sunflower seeds for breakfast then tuna mixed with sour cream for lunch. I hadn’t really planned to go Atkins so I was happy to see a big ol’ "Original recipe" banner on the plain Fritos and discover that they still contained only whole corn, corn oil and salt. (My hormones were happy too.)

I quickly learned that if you want a "clean" starch your choices are plain pasta or cooking a whole grain. I did some of both and remembered just how damned good plain pasta tossed with lightly salted butter really is…and how boring barley can be unless you help it with some sour cream and cracked pepper.

I got back in touch with my food and that was terrific. When I stopped at the grocery I was no longer thinking "meal" but "item" which is much healthier. Vegetables truly came into their own: on Tuesday night the biggest portion of my dinner was a sweet Vidalia onion sauted in olive oil with fresh sliced mushrooms, salt, pepper and a splash of balsamic vinegar cooked down. Very yummy and entirely additive-free. Wednesday night I sauted a fennel (anise) root in butter and that was just dandy also.

Lunch at work was saved by a reasonably well-stocked salad bar. However it was far more "dietetic" than I’d planned: no dressings, no lunchmeats, no prepared mac or potato salads (the mayo) no croutons and no chow mein noodles meant that I was grazing on peppers, tomatoes, cucumbers, broccoli and mozzy cheese all dressed with salt and pepper. Healthy yes but also boring so I was glad for the made-on-site "grilled veggie burrito" which after being separated from its adulterated wrapper was a tasty meal of rice, black beans, tomatoes, zucchini and cheddar cheese.

By the third day I really did feel much better. By the fifth I dropped enough water weight to make snug clothes loose again and my mother-in-law comment "you losing weight. What you doing?" (I was a complete bitch: "Nothing—the scales say I haven’t lost an ounce.") I didn’t suffer from the nightly bloating and indigestion I had attributed to my chaotic household…nor did I wake up with the stuffiness I’d been blaming on the houseful of critters. As Arte Johnson
used to say, "Vee-r-r-ree-e-e-e in-ter-es-tink!"

Desserts were nonexistent but I couldn’t live without sweets entirely so I bought dried figs, which I love. I also had canned fruit (mandarin oranges, pears) a couple of times. I remembered that the chocolate pudding cake recipe from my Better Homes and Gardens cookbook was indeed "clean" since it used flour and milk and sugar and cocoa powder but I talked myself out of "that much work" for a sweet fix.

The problem with being out of the mainstream is that it’s hard to stay out of the mainstream. Thursday night the Ducklings had Jiffy-Pop (notice who makes it?) and I couldn’t resist.

After four days of the way food is supposed to taste, the "natural flavoring" synthetic butter was like Peruvian flake in the Eighties and the salt was just so damned very salty…ohboy. I only had three handsful since we were sharing amongst the family but if we’d had another pie-tin of the stuff I would’ve been first in line to get it on the burner.

An hour later I found myself eating the Polaner All-Fruit straight from the jar with a spoon. Coincidence? I think not. (Oh and that "all natural" thing? Load of crap.) Woke up all stuffy-n-puffy again the following morning too. It went away after hard boiled eggs and plain tea for breakfast but I sure thought that was an interesting bit of data.

The other interesting finding is that although I hadn’t planned for this to be "a diet" it ended up being one because there was so little I could eat. Those two things sure say a lot about food in our society as a whole, don’t they?

Yes but that can be another post; I have to go forage for some lunch now.

I Like...

2007-06-22T12:08:00.000-04:00

...Yoda a lot.

I'm also very fond of Meatwad but it isn't the same relationship.

Oh and to get the Timmys straight once and for all: THIS one is cool; THAT one needs smacked around and sent to summer school.

Yeah there's been knitting and food and gardening and other General Living; I'll get 'round to it someday. Or not.

My Favorite Devil Movie

2007-06-21T07:15:00.000-04:00

Angel Heart

Watched it last night for the first time in years...had forgotten how much I liked it.

Yes...

2007-06-18T07:22:00.000-04:00

...it was a completely different mitten in the previous post. Shit happens. In this case a thumb three sizes too tight and a wonky palm design due to carrying the background yarn in the wrong hand.

Fortunately mittens work up quickly--finished this one shortly after the photo:

By Now...

2007-06-13T20:59:00.000-04:00

...It should be self-explanatory.

(good proportion; sucky focus. Urgh.)

Yes of course I finished the Majin Buu Mittens. They mysteriously vanished early this week. Such is life.

Since I drafted this post I moved along to the thumb of the first mitten. Pictures to follow someday maybe; an operating system re-install is in my computer's near future.

Eldest...

2007-06-13T14:33:00.000-04:00

...Took two good pictures of my Totally Excellent Shawl.

Some Thoughts

2007-06-12T20:39:00.001-04:00

Father Mulcahy eat your rosary out:

There's suppression and then there's repression. Let's see now. I'm trying to remember, which one is the bad one? Oh, yes. Repression. That's when you say "I don't have a penis." That doesn't work. Then there's suppression, which is when you say "Down, boy!"

--Brother Vergil as quoted by Norah Vincent in Self-Made Man

=======

My take on the whole Paris Hilton saga has been equal parts of "geez, and what's the actual news, like say from Iraq?!?" and "Poor little rich girl ain't had NO raisin'; what the fuck does anyone expect?!?" so it's no real surprise to me that her parents are only now making their presence known.

======

I think America is going to be very sorry for giving all its money to China in the form of cheap consumer goods.

======

I've been reading a lot of healthcare blogs lately and although many of them are good and some are intermittently funny I'm glad mine isn't one.

======

Can we just all agree that America broke Iraq and start from there? This quote from the blog "Baghdad Burning" (link on my sidebar) pretty much says it:

There are moments when the injustice of having to leave your country, simply because an imbecile got it into his head to invade it, is overwhelming. It is unfair that in order to survive and live normally, we have to leave our home and what remains of family and friends… And to what?

======

The older I get the more I realize how society as a whole is pretty much middle school only on a much larger scale....and I hated middle school.

======

I've recently learned that my workplace is having trouble getting our renovations started because all the raw materials are being diverted to the Mideast. So much for getting out of there.... these people and these people tend to agree.

======

Oh and also? I found a "draft" post from last week sometime I'd previously forgotten...it's now posted but you'll have to scroll down to find it.

Still More Gardening

2007-06-11T21:34:00.001-04:00

As much as I go on about it you'd think I actually liked doing it wouldn't you?

Nope--don't much care for it. I only do it because I like flowers. Which is why I plant perennials: if I'm going to all the trouble of throwing something in the dirt on purpose it had damned well better KEEP making pretty flowers. Fighting the winter and critters of The Hinterlands makes it a challenge.

So I was particularly pleased to discover my "Enterprise" hybrid iris came back after all:

I'm also happy the peonies are finally popping:
(That dangly one on the far right is going in a bud glass on my desk tomorrow morning.)

They're nice close-up too...

Finally I give you the difference one month can make.

May 3, 2007

June 11, 2007

Wise Words

2007-06-07T15:07:00.000-04:00

You are known by your friends AND your enemies. Cherish them both.

Flowers With Other Stuff First

2007-06-06T07:15:00.000-04:00

A huge snapping turtle wandered into our yard a couple mornings ago:

It was gone by the time we went out to catch the schoolbus. Those things can move pretty fast when they want.

I got this INCREDIBLE shawl from my Sister, see?

I just totally love it...so does Eldest; she couldn't stop singing its praises all the first night.

Meanwhile the iris are still doing their thing--much better than the one bloom of last season:

FINALLY the peonies have started blooming--Youngest called me outside last night specifically to show me:

Those are the only two blossoms so far...but you can see all the budly glory waiting in the wings.

MINE, Dammit!

2007-06-02T19:20:00.001-04:00

Gentle Readers may not recall that the entire Fancy Mitten Project started when I wanted a pair. I know the Ducklings certainly don't.

I do.

After much thought and contemplation I found my mitten pattern. Astute historians will recognize an enlarged copy of a page from this book and also the oldest known knitted pattern: gold and maroon silk socks at some amazingly fine gauge.

My new mittens: See the Easter egg yarn? I'll use that with natural undyed.

The final pattern:

To reward myself for the rest of the weekend just past (visiting relative, big English project) I ordered new needles. Fourteen of them.

Oh and also? I give you the first of the Buu-Mitts in vivo:

The second isn't quite to the thumb-line yet.

(Yes that wretched photo was the best of a much larger lot...'s'what I get for attempting to show-but-not-show a child.)

Iris

2007-06-01T21:05:00.000-04:00

On the 25th of May...

And the morning of June 1st:

Because I took the above picture on my way out the door to work you also get a gratuitous office shot.

I just got back from the local farmer's market. I was underwhelmed by the offerings and only saw two people I knew: the female half of the couple who own/operate the laundry/dry cleaning service I (occasionally) use and my COO, who called out a greeting from her open car window.

Tolerance and Forgiveness...

2007-06-01T09:15:00.000-04:00

...can be seriously lacking at times.

This morning as I was parking in the work lot I was surprised to see one of the clinic nurses whom I know by sight but not name walking over to my car. She seemed to wish to speak to me.

Once I opened my car door this woman started in with a loud and angry voice saying "Did you know you just splashed muddy water ALL OVER me?! How COULD you be so careless?!?" She was clearly Seriously Pissed Off; her cap of gray hair was quivering with rage.

Well no, of course I -hadn't- known and felt terrible since that's happened to me (and you too no doubt) dozens of times. On the other hand I was rather startled to be greeted with such invective in the employee parking lot.

I looked at the pants to which she was gesturing and saw only two small quarter-sized spots of liquid, neither of which were muddy. Did a mental "hmmm" but still felt bad. So I immediately and sincerely apologized with the hand-to-chest gesture and "No I didn't know. I'm so terribly sorry." I've been told multiple times that it's easy to read my face so I'm sure if she'd looked she would have seen the genuine contrition.

That wasn't good enough for her. She went on to declaim "you were just speeding through here not paying a BIT of attention and got water ALL OVER me because you were being careless!" I stood there, still with hand on chest but now clearly taken aback and added another "I'm sorry; I really didn't see you." That still wasn't good enough: her parting shot was "well pay more attention!"

Despite the big green "doctor" photo-ID-badge the rules make me wear whenever on campus, I don't think she had any clue who I am or she might not have decided to dump her entire morning's worth of life-rage on me.

The thing which annoys me the most was her refusal to accept a genuinely sincere apology.

However the thing which also annoys me is that I'm certain had I been a male with gray at the temples she wouldn't have said one word. I'm sure she saw "young woman" (young to her anyhow) and decided "therefore below me in the pecking order and someone whom I can safely shit all over." Yeah, well Ageism is still an "ism" and therefore wrong.

I do hope she realizes she has definitely not made a friend today. She certainly will the next time we end up in the same meeting together; I intend to ever-so-sweetly inquire if she's "recovered from your terrible parking-lot trauma."

Even though she wasn't wearing her nametag (but mostly-strap sandals--had I caught up with her on the walk up the hill I would've kindly apologized a second time while pointing out that open-toed shoes were against dress code) I will find out who she is.

The Fates are going to bite that hateful person on the ass, mark my words.

The Knitting Meme

2007-05-30T12:16:00.000-04:00

Every damned time I swear I'm NEVER doing another meme something compelling comes along. Since this blog enterprise started life as a(nother) knitting blog I figured I might as well play along....

Bold for the things you've done, Italic for the things you want to do, plain for the things you don't plan to do (and my special innovation, BLOCK CAPS for the things you think are really stupid.)

Afghan

I-cord

Garter stitch

Shawl

Stockinette stitch

Socks: top-down

Socks: toe-up

Mittens: Cuff-up

Hat

Moebius band knitting

Sweater

Drop stitch patterns

Slip stitch patterns

Twisted stitch patterns

Knitting with bamboo yarn

Charity knitting

Toy/doll clothing

Knitting with circular needles

Baby items

Slippers

Continental knitting

Cable stitch patterns (incl. Aran)

Lace patterns

Scarf

Teaching a child to knit

American/English knitting (as opposed to continental)

Household items (dishcloths, washcloths, tea cosies...)

Knitting socks (or other small tubular items)on two circulars

Knitting with someone elses handspun yarn

Knitting with dpns

Holiday related knitting

Bobbles

Knitting with cotton

Steeks

Knitting two socks (or other small tubular items) on two circulars simultaneously

Fulling/felting

Knitting with wool

Textured knitting

Kitchener BO

Swatching

Long Tail CO

Entrelac

Knitting and purling backwards

Knitting with selfpatterning/selfstriping/variegating yarn

Darning

Knitting with synthetic yarn

Writing a pattern

Intarsia

Tubular CO

Freeform knitting

Short rows

CUFFS/FINGERLESS MITTS/ARMWARMERS (Eldest made one of these; looks like a cast. But damned if it isn't a hit among her peer group so don't listen to un-hip me.)

Knitting a pattern from an online knitting magazine

Knitting a gift

KNITTING FOR PETS (It's enough for me to keep up with the people. Your mileage may vary.)

Shrug/bolero/poncho

Knitting in public

Button holes

Knitting with silk

Knitting with recycled/secondhand yarn

Knitting with banana fiber yarn

Domino knitting

Knitting with soy yarn

Cardigan

Knitting with your own handspun yarn

Designing knitted garments

Knitting with alpaca

Norwegian knitting

Teaching a male how to knit (this entry really bothers me. Why should the gender matter? Must we have a history lesson?)

Knitting smocking

Knitting with beads

Stuffed toys

Knitting with cashmere

Gloves

Knitting with linen

Knitting for preemies

Thrummed knitting

Pillows

Knitting with metal wire

Knitting with camel yarn

Mittens: Tip-down

Participating in a KAL

Two end knitting

Graffitti knitting (knitting items on, or to be left on the street)

Publishing a knitting book (see below)

Knitting to make money (nope, can't profit from the craft or the magic will go away.)

Dyeing with plant colours

Knitting items for a wedding

Olympic knitting!

Knitting for a living (Nope, can't profit from it. See above: would spoil the magic.)

Dyeing yarn

Knitting art

Purses/bags

Machine knitting

KNITTING WITH DOG/CAT HAIR (I love my pets but not their fur--too short, too inelastic, too "uck.")

Hair accessories

Jewelry

Rug

Knitting on a loom

Buu-Mitts

2007-05-30T07:40:00.003-04:00

Can't tell much in-situ:

But I'm awfully pleased with how it's turned out.

(I'm aging myself again) "Extreme Close-Up!!!!"

I would like to point out that my starting point was a free pattern from Hello Yarn. Please go browse; someone with such a well-written free pattern should get some boost in business. I'll be doing my bit soon.

Oh and also? This turned out to be a very good book about food. Good enough to earn a spot on the cookbook shelf with a handful of Post-Its strewn within its pages.

The Ninth Doctor

2007-05-30T07:40:00.001-04:00

Who, that is.

HBF and I finally caught an episode over the weekend. One with Daleks and everything. Heck, that was what stopped the channel-surfing: a shiny new Dalek filmed in glossy "nighttime TV" mode instead of matte "daytime TV" mode. And fancy backgrounds.

"Oh this must be the new Dr Who series" thought I. Having been fans from way back, we were both interested. I was also curious because before my newsgroup became unmanageably large one of the off-topic threads was about this very series: I knew the Ninth Doctor was played by someone named Christopher Eccleston, the sonic screwdriver had been resurrected and that there was at least one openly bisexual character. All very good stuff, in theory.

Not in practice. I wanted it to work and kept trying to like it but the show was just too slick.

Part of the charm of the "original" series (the one which ended at Sylvester McCoy's Seventh Doctor) was its low budget for which the show compensated with excellent writing and character acting. Ferpitysake Douglas Adams wrote for the show; what's not to like? HBF was always a big Jon Pertwee fan and we both liked Tom Baker but I was also very fond of Peter Davidson's Doctor. So it's not as if we didn't have a basis for comparison...which was part of the problem.

The Ninth Doctor was okay--a little on the bland side but certainly better than Colin Baker. I rather liked his striking appearance; it suited my whole "The Doctor" concept. It was the rest of the show which got to me, for the very reason I'm certain twelve-year-old Eldest would've liked it: the damned thing looked just like every other "supernatural" show on TV from Buffy the Vampire Slayer to that wretched Van Helsing movie to Charmed. Lots of special effects which I tried to like ("Look! The show finally got a budget!") but which ended up being distracting especially given the film noir setting in most of the episode. The X-ray-green shootings were detracting horribly from the plot point that the Emperor of the Daleks was making, namely that The Doctor was going to have to kill most of Humanity to also kill off the Daleks (again.)

The "openly bisexual" character turned out to be one of the better bits. Body language and hairstyle led me to think that the studly swashbuckling man-pretty Companion was a likely candidate and I turned out to have been correct. Just before the final battle, he kissed a female lead firmly on the mouth (with words so wooden I thought "yeah right") then turned and (with interesting intensity) kissed the Doctor firmly on the mouth. Although I've always been very much in the "Companions don't KISS*!" camp it was scripted well: the Doctor stood there with a bemused expression, which is what someone from an alien species ought to do in such a situation. Not repulsed, not aroused, just...curious. The Boy-Companion (surprisingly) died fighting the Daleks but did so very well in a classic action-hero gunfire way complete with witty exit line.

The other Companion was one of the not-so-great bits. If you clicked on that link you'll see she's one of those blondes with the jet-black furry eyebrows which I found horribly distracting. Not only that but she was the catalyst for the entire very-bad last half of the episode back on Earth. That was when I really lost patience with the script. Why? I'll tell you why.

The Doctor sent the Girl-Companion back to Earth on the TARDIS with one of those classic "if you're listening to this broadcast I'm likely already dead" videos. Of course we never expected her to stay on Earth but what I didn't expect was to have quite so much air-time of her whining about how much she was going to miss him before getting started on the Doing Something...and I definitely didn't expect the Something to be "breaking the TARDIS" least of all with brute force.

Let me backtrack a minute. Longtime Dr Who fans will know all about the TARDIS, her cloister-bell and how huge she really is. So I was fine with the Girl-Companion saying that the TARDIS was a sentient being with whom they could communicate and even liked that plan. I thought "okay, so she'll talk the TARDIS into going back." Notice I say "talk into." Wanna know why? Because Dr. Who has a longstanding tradition of using brains rather than brawn to solve problems. Wit too, for that matter. Never in a million years did I think that the Girl-Companion would attempt to "communicate" with the TARDIS by using an iron chain to pry bits of it open.

It got better too: the chain went out the open TARDIS door to a freaking truck where the wanna-be-boyfriend gunned the engine. William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton and Jon Pertwee must all have been rolling in their graves over that one. I sat there thinking "well of course that's never gonna work; the TARDIS isn't going to allow petty vandalism...heck I'm surprised the door is being allowed to stay open so long. Any second now the door is gonna slam shut and break that chain leaving Rose (yeah I knew her name all along but floral and dewy she ain't) to negotiate on her own. Any second now..."

I threw a ball of yarn at the television when they came back with a bigger truck.

It was a sad day for scriptwriting but no real surprise when the huge yellow truck worked, the bit of TARDIS snapped, light flashed and Girl-Companion started communicating telepathically with the TARDIS. Ditto for the special-effects yellow magical flamelike stuff pouring out of her eyes to indicate she'd Become One with the good old blue police-box. I wasn't even particularly surprised when she resurrected ONLY the Boy-Companion from the dead; by then I'd seen sixteen or eighteen commercials ("since when does Dr. Who have commercials?!") for his spin-off show and knew he had to stick around one way or another. More special-effects magic caused all the Daleks to be dissolved into gold glitter while I got good and sick of the possessed voice giving us an "all dust" refrain.

It was definitely high-tech television entertainment and my kids would probably think it was swell but I felt horribly bereft. Went to the website to see if maybe there were an explanation and found that not only had it gone all high-tech as well but I was still a Doctor behind.

The Tenth Doctor looks like he ought to be a Wiggle. Yes I know how much I'm showing my age. I don't care; I'm off to watch my VHS tape of Full Circle.

*They don't kiss the Doctor, that is. Kissing each other is perfectly acceptable.

Time Is Fleeting

2007-05-28T20:15:00.000-04:00

"madness...takes control/so listen closely..." Sorry, wrong reference.

I wanted to talk about the more somber version of passing time.

For example I'm awfully happy I took this picture because two hours later a storm rained these flowers entirely away.

On the other hand I'm not a bit happy the War (do I really need to add "Iraq" any more?) has taken so many young people and civilians. I was absolutely incensed last week when the US House totally wussied out and gave us that "we knew we'd just get vetoed" song-n-dance. Yeah right. I fucking changed parties from Independent (strongly leaning Libertarian) to Democrat specifically TO register my outrage over the war and can't imagine I'm the only one. I thought the whole reason we gave the Dems so many votes was so that we could maybe get the troops out sooner rather than later. Whatinthehell was that shit last week, huh?

I knew I'd so married the right guy when I came home to learn that HBF had electronically written letters of complaint to all our congresspeople...not just from him but from me as well. I'd been stomping around bitching to the television; he took action on my behalf. Praise him.

I'm also sad we mortals have lost Charles Nelson Reilly. I adored him as a child; thought he was funny and smart and nice all three. Wished he were an honorary uncle...and that I had more than one episode of Lidsville since everyone knows Vincent Price was right when he said villains were better. Requiscat in pace.

On the other hand if time didn't pass we wouldn't get new babies and I saw an awfully cute video of one today. If time didn't pass the Ducklings wouldn't get older either which would mean that they would stop amazing me with how well they're turning out.

Time keeps one humble as well: Saturday evening the Ducklings and I were enjoying the hammock (recently hung in the [long-since-retired] apple orchard.) By "enjoying" I mean that the two smaller ones were lying on either side of me while Eldest was swinging the hammock very hard. Loads of fun till a Grandmama-tied knot suddenly gave way on a downthrust and my right hip slammed into the ground with force. It was completely ha-ha funny at the time but now whenever I get up I'm stiff-n-sore a whole day and a half later which kind of sucks. As do the jokes about "you broke Mom's ass!"

Finished Mittens

2007-05-27T12:30:00.001-04:00

They seem pretty self-explanatory:

I'm still very fond of the pattern used for the palms.

So is Middle Duckling, although the flash didn't go off.

Who Knew I'd Start A Trend?

2007-05-23T07:32:00.000-04:00

Youngest Duckling wants a pair of mittens too:

There will be a "Buu" in that top diagram.

For those of you not into anime, the explanation.

Mitten Update

2007-05-20T08:46:00.000-04:00

I finished the body of the left mitten Saturday night:

I was in a particularly lousy mood and got really fed up when I realized the thing was too small for my own hand. Started wondering why I'd spent so much time on mittens in the first place. Was seriously ready to ditch the whole project and go back to something far less fiddly...but Middle Duckling stopped me. Not only is the mitten a perfect fit for him but he thought the squirrel was cool.

I think the whole "unique" concept was appealing too. My favorite part isn't the back but the palm--I really like the way the small pattern knit up. It's smooth and double-thick the way a Norwegian mitten ought to be.

I also can't get over how very well-designed the pattern is. That ladder-like border up the sides with the two light stitches separated by dark ones was particularly helpful in keeping track of which row I was doing.

Once I decided to keep going and do the other mitten the Fates rewarded me--I found my pair of short size-zero circulars. Now I won't have to do the other cuff on four double-points!

For those of you already sick of knitting content I give you a shot of my kitchen sink kitsch-ledge:

The statue on the far right is the St. Joseph I found in the garden.

Post Scriptum: Since composing the post I finished the left thumb and started in on the right mitten...ribbing went MUCH better with two circulars. Middle Duckling has already spirited the left mitten away to his Special Hiding Place so pictures will have to wait a bit.

Speaking of the Peonies...

2007-05-12T17:08:00.000-04:00

They've grown quite a bit since I staked them:

My new perennial bed isn't doing too badly either...at least not for its first spring:

The tulips are starting to fade--the early bloomers are waning and the late bloomers are coming into their own. The "Shirley" ones got a lot more purple over a week or two--see?

Before:

After:

The other tulips before:
Very astute observers will notice four Shirley tulips amongst the Rembrandts...yes I was obsessive-compulsive enough to move them while in full bloom. I figured even if they withered instantly they'd be in the right spot for the following year...but they bounced back anyhow.

And today (May 20):

Oh and here's also the bouquet Youngest Duckling picked for me alongside a couple garden casualties:

Change of Pace

2007-05-12T16:53:00.000-04:00

Remember the horribly hormonal mitten disaster? The one in which I thought orange and blue would be cute together? Well I finally got back to that pattern.

Recalling that my ill-fated worsted adventure was far too large, that ribbing needs to be on smaller needles and that I myself knit incredibly loosely I started with the tiniest pair I had:

It almost NEVER happens but I actually produced something too small. Amazing.

So I tried again with much more success. Also more frustration: had to do the ribbing on double-points after years of being spoiled on the two-circular construction method. No it wasn't planned--I discovered all my short circular 0's had lost a tip (don't bother with bamboo that thin; it doesn't hold up)and that the longer "magic loop method" size was far too stiff.

You haven't lived the knitting life till you've done two-color ribbing on four (not even five) double-points. Yes I jest...and have a strong feeling I'll be placing a KnitPicks order soon. (Sure they're the Wal-Mart of the knitting world but I hear their needles are good.) I was so-o-o grateful to have intact #2's the right size.

The pattern is quite excellent; I've been impressed with its ease of use.

Oh and also? This was the year I finally remembered to stake up the peonies.

Duncan

2007-05-12T16:51:00.000-04:00

He thinks I'm the Great Kitty Ur-Mother.

Is Lace Worth It?

2007-05-11T22:26:00.001-04:00

Yes.

Before:

After.

The join was more forgiving than I'd expected:

See?

I'm quite pleased.

Flower Intermission

2007-05-11T20:16:00.000-04:00

I lied. Sue me.

Don't worry; I'll get to the scarf eventually. (See the teaser?)

Tulips are hard to grow up here. I've been fighting critters and elements ever since we moved seven years ago. Maybe they turned out well this year because I used rubber mulch. It reeked of tires for the first week so I thought a "foreign" scent would scare nibblers. Seems to have worked reasonably well.

Also ... the Hybridils:

I always add one extra week for "hybrid" and another for "too close to road salt" but they really are hard to kill:

I wish I had more of this one:

Hey! Wanna know what I learned tonight?

Tulips are smart flowers: they close up near sundown. I can't believe it took me three decades to notice.

MadBlock

2007-05-09T06:36:00.000-04:00

Yes the title has significance. At first it was just my shorthand photo label for "madeira scarf blocking photographs" but upon reflection I realize that it captures my whole lace-blocking experience pretty well. In the "as a hatter" not "as a wet hen" sense.

When last we met, I had finished knitting the Madeira Scarf (Possibly Table Runner) and was intimidated by the grafting process. That turned out not too badly. I caught the rhythm of the thing fairly well--you go through TWO stitches on each side each time: one is the "old" stitch you went through previously and one is the adjacent stitch. I didn't pay close enough attention to the way the stitches were mounted so I ended up with a purl ridge on the right side of the work, but heck, for my first time grafting it was certainly quite presentable. Didn't even have to rip out anything.

So I had a finished but unblocked long skinny rectangle of knitting. The first problem was finding a place for the pin-out. I knew I needed someplace level that would remain undisturbed by kids or critters for a good 24 hours which was hard to even consider in my overstuffed house, but I finally created a spot by moving my stash-tub:

I thought that using a striped bath towel was just too clever...and we all know pride goeth before a fall. Thinking it would all be no big deal, one evening after work last week I tossed my scarf in the sink with my lagniappe wool-wash from Knitivity:

I thought it was kind of fascinating that the yarn was pink but the water turned blue and thought of both red cabbage and litmus paper. The soaking-and-squeezing part was very easy so in no time flat I had a piece of damp lace all ready and waiting for the "severe blocking" that was going to make it open up into a Thing of Beauty if not also a Joy Forever.

That was when it started getting dicey. What I didn't know then but do know now is that blocking a piece of lace is not an enterprise one can do lightly or in one's spare time. Silly me, I thought that pinning out six feet of openwork was something I could do with a glass of wine during Olbermann. So fine, still pleased with my striped-towel idea I started at one end:

That part looks pretty good but only because it took something like fifteen minutes just to get the first two pattern repeats pinned down. Right away I learned about frame of reference because I had to figure out what was going to be pinned first and then used to brace the stretching process. I decided on the side selvedge because it was formed by a slipped stitch at the beginning of every row and therefore didn't have as much "give" as the rest of the knitting...also it was easier to pin a straight line against a stripe than it was to figure out how to stretch those triangles into aesthetically pleasing shapes.

By the time that picture was taken I realized I'd bitten off a far bigger time commitment than one evening could chew. Pinning lace is not brain surgery but does take patience, eye-hand coordination, a dedicated spirit and plenty of time. Also good knees since you're on them a lot. Halfway through Countdown and a second glass of wine I was running low on all of those and starting to realize what a crazy thing I'd gotten into. I'd also discovered that I would need not just a second bath towel (which I knew) but a THIRD and that the length issue was going to be a big problem. Also that if you pin too much in one direction without stretching and pinning out the other directions you get Skew Problems which require UNpinning at least some of the previously-tediously-placed pins.

It was about then I realized "my life just doesn't have room for lace." Blocking lace is more like a religious event than a casual household task and as such there ought to be a place of worship. I envision an entire gymnasium with wrestling mats permanently on the floor already stamped with grids and pie-divided circles and big triangles in permanent ink. There would be boxes of kneepads, endless T-pins (those straight pins hurt the fingerpads after a while) plenty of large plastic rulers and magnets. Calming chamber music would play quietly in the background and there would always be an attendant for "could you help pull on this?" or "does that look even to you?" People like me could tell their families "I'm going to the Lace Gym; I'll be back...eventually" then take all the time they needed to make their creations lovely. Heck, the very act of getting to the Lace Gym would be time to change mindset from "everyday" to "contemplative."

Yeah, well, not in this world.

So after much grunting and struggling and pulling of pins and interruptions, by eleven-thirty the first night I'd gotten this far:

You'll notice right away that's only half a scarf. I got about two repeats into the other half and realized it was too late and I was too tired to be thinking of actually finishing the project that night. So what did I do? Wrapped the other half up in the now-wet towel I'd used to press out the extra water way back at the beginning of the evening. Pinned the rest of it out early the next morning but in a much more "git 'er DONE!" kind of way. Like with half the number of pins and three times the attitude. Yeah, it had dried out; I shook some club soda out over my thumb (used to sprinkle shirts for ironing at age 2.5) to wet it down before I left for the day.

The next night I started unpinning. Lasted about five minutes. Then I got very Alexandrian by pulling up the towels with knitting and pins still attached. Took another night to extract the pins back into their sealed container. Was it worth it?

Tune in next post. Blogger won't let me put all the photos in this one. Poo.

Scarf Update

2007-05-07T07:39:00.000-04:00

The Actual Knitting part of my new project is done.

Astute observers will notice a yarn needle attached to the right-side-up half; that's because the next step of the instructions is "graft together." Having not ever grafted anything before I'm pretty intimidated but I downloaded a video which I hope will solve my problems.

The step after the grafting is the blocking--my knitting basket contains two boxes of "350 dressmaker's straight pins" each waiting patiently. I can see already how much the lace will benefit from blocking but I'm still trying to find a place for said blocking. Here's a closer view.

I never thought I'd "get the hang of" lace but after a few pattern repeats I had it pretty much memorized. I still checked the diagram (how much I prefer charts to words!) but with only a few key facts (it starts with mostly "K8" ; there's always yarn-overs separating the action) the row before will pretty much indicate what the current row should be...which is infinitely helpful for troubleshooting.

This was a project started without a clear recipient in mind--those are quite rare for me. Usually I already know for whom I'm knitting even before the cast-on. Not this time: I just wanted to make that pattern out of Ray's yarn. Had no idea what I'd do with a pink lace scarf though. It turned out okay since the vision came sometime between the seventh and eighth repeats of the first side. Remember MIL's older sister Cida? She's turning eighty on her next birthday and a scarf squashes down nicely into tightly-packed luggage. (Just never you mind that her birthday isn't till New Years'.)

Meanwhile I've started playing around with those squirrel mittens again--this time with Kroy sock yarn in less violently contrasting colors ("flax" and the apparently discontinued "dark green.) Too soon to tell if they're a success yet though.

Spring

2007-05-05T18:16:00.000-04:00

It's hard to kill

A daffodil.

I made that up just now (does it sound like Ogden Nash?) but it really is true: even the bed right by the road where the salt gets all over is starting to bud.

The sheltered bed is still in full bloom but getting older:

My grape hyacinths always take a while to get there but last forever once they do.

Birthday tulip buds...
...and tiny poppy shoots.

New Camera!

2007-05-03T07:33:00.000-04:00

Okay, technically it's just new to me...I got something that would fit on the docking/printer station I already have.

Now you can see progress in the perennial garden:

This is the warmest and most sheltered bulb bed so it blooms first:

This one always takes an extra week and is just coming in nicely:

One of my three tulip beds--these are the birthday bulbs from my dear friend V. I also planted lily of the valley but I haven't seen any of it break through the mulch yet. (Damn those dandelions are persistent buggers, aren't they?!?)

And just for fun since it's knitting, the very first picture from my new-to-me camera:

You probably can't tell (I sure can't) that it's the Madeira scarf...have one half done and two out of eight repeats on the second half.

The House of Chaos hosted back-to-back sleepovers last weekend; that was an experience. Maybe someday I'll blog about it. Not soon since I'm discovering that being the boss is fun but time-consuming.

Brief Catching-Up

2007-04-28T09:04:00.000-04:00

So let's see, why did I abandon the six of you all week?

Oh yeah, workstuff about which I never blog.

I suppose I could blog a little bit: my boss retired this week so I became Interim Chief-of-Department while simultaneously interviewing for the permanent position and squeezing all my usual work around the edges of meetings.

Thursday was the biggest day: interviews back-to-back followed by a traditional retirement tea for my boss followed by a meeting I had to chair...I would've loved to go home and stay there but after dinner the Big Two and I took The Critters to the free rabies clinic. Partly because the clinic was 6 to 8 pm and it's a huge hassle to make and keep business-hours vet appointments (I don't do my own health maintenance worth a damn either) but largely because our vet's Big Issue is animal obesity and the beagle was fat enough to generate a lengthy and unpleasant lecture last year. Fine, cats in carrier and Loki on leash...it was outside at the county garage and our thinks-he's-a-terrier hound was intimidated by everyone, four-pawed or two, so he squatted and left a huge river in his wake. Which was okay since it was blacktop but then while I was filling out the forms he took a HUGE crap right in front of the registration table. After a whole day of lofty talk about running a multi-million dollar department, nothing keeps you mortal like a dog-dump in public. Fortunately they had plastic bags; unfortunately they had no trashcans so we ended up taking the poo away with us in the back of the van. I left a hefty donation and praised up the people doing the actual injections profusely before beating a hasty retreat with my horde.

Friday's highlights included Youngest Duckling's school presentation and making the acquaintance of my work-buddy's toddler son...also more interviews.

Came home to three extra kids--MIL took BIL for a weekend getaway so the Big Two are hosting back-to-back sleepovers. It's the boys Friday followed by the girls Saturday and yes I expect to be completely brain-dead by noon on Sunday.

Oh but "dead" reminds me: I really wish my camera hadn't died so I could show you how much nicer that perennial bed looks with the ring of rocks completed and the black plastic removed. Also that my daffodils have started to bloom...and that I found a statue of St. Joseph when I relocated the hen-and-chicks. At first I thought it was one of those Renaissance chess pieces. Wasn't quite sure what to do* with it so he's on my kitchen windowsill sandwiched between a Russian matryoshka doll and a made-in-China leprechaun holding pink roses.

In the book world I've been reading Alison Lurie's Only Children in dribs and drabs...this time she does CHILD point-of-view and does it quite well. Lolly reminds me of Youngest Duckling something fierce.

*Did you see that? Actual spells in post-millenial America? Fascinating.

Manta Shawl

2007-04-28T01:24:00.000-04:00

Before my camera was all-the-way broken I captured a knitting project. Because it was a gift I couldn't share till the recipient had seen it; because this week has been so busy you get the post now.

It's a start-small-then-grow project as demonstrated by this practice swatch.

The real item was Lisa Shobhana Mason's "Manta Shawl" (but I shamelessly used stash yarn rather than ordering new.)

It gets a little tricky while building up from the point, what with yarn-overs and decreases that slant both ways:

Once past row 12, however, it becomes smooth sailing for the rest of the way through the yarn:

As the shawl grew I switched over to my two plastic circulars and damn, it really did look like a manta ray:

See?

That last picture was at about the 5/8 point, or more specifically "all but the last ball of yarn." I'm not sure I'll ever use the infinitely-increasing style of design again--rows that keep getting bigger and bigger get me down after a while. In spite of that it was still a soothing knit-up with all the garter stitch punctuated by that center rib.

Successfully managing those few (four every other row) yarn-overs with their associated decreases was the breakthrough act which led to the current Madeira Lace scarf project...that learning experience was the gift within the gift.

A Great Quote

2007-04-23T14:16:00.000-04:00

This is ME through and through:

I'm angry, really angry, so seldom that it always takes me by surprise. At first I think it's fever and chills, that I'm getting the flu or something; and when I realize what's happening I don't know how to express it with the proper force.

Page 163 of Real People by Alison Lurie. Random House, 1969.

Oh and ten pages later? This is me too:

I never know how to meet a direct attack; am slow even to recognize one, to take in the fact that something irrevocably hostile has been said. I sat there stupidly, feeling disoriented and weightless, but stiff at the same time, as if I had just been in an auto accident.

The rest of the novel is also good...if you've ever thought of being a writer you'll want to read it.

New Project

2007-04-22T07:58:00.000-04:00

Ray has the fastest shipping ever; my new yarn came right away.

Here's a closer (though not as good) picture.

And here's an even worse picture showing that I really do prefer the chart...and that I tweaked the pattern a bit. (slanted one of the knit-three-into-one decreases the opposite way and added selvedge stitches.)

Saturday Morning...

2007-04-21T18:30:00.000-04:00

I got my plants into the ground.

This being the land of Miserable Dirt I started by purchasing topsoil for four cents a pound at the local hardware store. I intend to finish by putting in a nice stone path, ringing the garden with more stones and eventually taking away that silly black plastic ring. Oh and mulching.

I also put a dozen poppies in a bed to cover up the basment "Bilco" door but they aren't a bit photogenic. (cover up the door...)

The crocus around the mailbox were in full bloom, too:

More Swatch Play

2007-04-19T07:27:00.000-04:00

After the mitten disaster I still really wanted to play with that fun orange yarn. I had also, while rummaging for something to make with the Easter Egg yarn, found a pattern that I'd liked ages ago but not ever made. So hey presto:

Not to worry; I've purchased some far more appropriate yarn for the actual project.
This was a grand time though...not only was the yarn pretty but I learned a lot too:

--when using two-tail cast-on, the free end of the yarn needs to be on TOP (this makes sense if you have yarn in hand, trust me) or you'll introduce twisting. Actually I'd noticed that before but thought I'd mention it today.

--however, one cannot translate that into doing backward-loop cast-on with a long free tail to satisfy a "very LOOSELY" criterion or your working yarn will be at the wrong end of the row.

--two-tail cast-on over both needles held together still works fine for "loosely."

--I MUCH prefer charts over words for anything patterned. Kept making mistakes till I could "see" what I was supposed to be knitting and then I had my Lightbulb Moment.

--that whole "severe blocking" thing for lace is looking to be completely true (as if I really doubted); I'm going to have an interesting time finding an appropriate space when the time comes.

Here's another shot (there were others all out-of-focus; I really should get a new camera):

And here's a shot of my knitting basket on the front sidewalk in the same place it was earlier this week:

Now that the weather seems to have finally turned the corner my new perennial garden might finally get into the dirt this weekend:

Somewhat Better

2007-04-18T07:10:00.000-04:00

I got rid of the Impending Mitten Disaster:

That yarn is swell but obviously hasn't declared itself yet.

Meanwhile it rained all night so the snow was reduced by just over half:

That plastic circle outlines the recently de-sodded perennial bed; astute observers will note it was completely covered in the last post.

Percy The Plow Guy never did show up on Monday (truck transmission still broken) so I got an entire Snow Day same as the Ducklings. Nice break. At around two Monday afternoon we took care of the driveway ourselves. Shoveling slush in the pouring rain is No Picnic but we got the job done:

Middle Duckling was particularly good help.

They DO Suck:

2007-04-16T10:30:00.000-04:00

Both the weather and the design concept, that is.

Behold the horror:

Isn't it frightening? My knitting basket is sitting on my freshly-shoveled sidewalk.

Can't argue with the weather but the damned mitten idea is so-so-SO a "what WAS she thinking*?!" moment. See?

Imagine the completed left mitten. Don't worry, your eyeballs won't bleed (right away, anyhow.) Awful, ain't it?

The really scary thing is that I saw it coming and forged ahead anyhow. It wasn't enough warning that my first thought after the second round of ribbing was "this thing is gonna be huge; I hope I can shrink it" even though I hate deliberate felting even more than I hate two-alike. (Oh no, I'm not listening to that alarm, not this time. I like this.) Nor was it even warning enough that my mental response was "shit, despite all that rinsing those blues might still bleed."

I thought "but they'll be so cu-u-u-te!" and sewed the joining seam together.

(Knitting Veterans may freely laugh.)

Even as I was stitching the Still Small Voice of Calm said "y'know, that's gonna make it a real bitch if you've got to unravel it..."

Yeah. It will. Did I listen?

No, but I sure should have--here's another shot of the carnage:

Mitten pattern? Great.
Yarns? Great.
Using any two of the three together? Probably okay.
All three? DISASTER.

The snow isn't swell either.

On the "up" side I've learned that I do indeed want to try that mitten pattern (two different! Hooray!) but that I'll need finer-gauge yarn and smaller needles. Also a less...painful...color scheme. I've also learned that the Easter Egg Yarn definitely needs to incubate longer; it hasn't declared itself yet.

My Plow Guy hasn't come yet but I'm reasonably sure that's a blessing in disguise.

* Hormones. Two days too early. Horrible killer (like late pregnancy) PMS is my middle-aged payback for having not believed in the entity in my twenties. I surely believe now. Hand me that box of Kleenex and the nine-mil, would you please?

Swatching Around

2007-04-15T21:36:00.000-04:00

I wanted to see how the Easter Egg Yarn would knit up so I played a bit:

While noodling around I was having a hard time with the "what" because I have only 100 yards each of both colors. So I thought I'd see what adding undyed yarn would be like.

Noticed right away that the gauge changed a LOT which made me realize that I had to decide up-front whether to go with traditional two-color stranded or one of the two-color slip-stitch variants. Went back to the "softer" (also much easier in back-and-forth) stitch patterns but still couldn't focus on an item. Kept thinking of mittens since they don't take much yarn.

Because of the "I hate making two alike" thing I tried to ignore that thought. Played around longer and contemplated "baby clothes" which is how that leftmost stitch pattern came about--isn't it adorable (if out of focus) ?

Yeah, but baby clothes shouldn't ever be made of feltable wool if it can be helped and I already have a Toddler Surprise Jacket (different yarn) in the queue. Also I really wanted to use the two colors of Easter Egg Yarn together in some way; I never get to play with complementary colors except at Christmas.

I also noticed that my previous swatch had been heavy on the blues and that I hadn't cared at all for the seed-stitch version of the oranges. So I ripped the whole thing out and started over:

This was more interesting to me. I liked how the orange looked but realized the fabric was far too bold. On the other hand the flecks of orange and white on a blue background (I had been thinking of water lilies or lotuses) weren't quite enough...and that whole "mittens" concept kept banging around my brain like an unknotted balloon.

So I finally decided on these.

I'm hoping they don't suck.

Post Scriptum: As far as the camera goes, it appears to be erasing the oldest images off the memory card in favor of whatever new ones I'm adding. I can live with that.

Because I Was Asked...

2007-04-14T14:32:00.000-04:00

...This is not only how we dyed the Easter eggs but also how we dyed the yarn--the leftovers from the coffeemugs got poured over wet yarn and microwaved.

In other news I'm in mild gardening hell. The boxful of perennial garden and poppies arrived last night but the weather is going to get stinky: "SNOWFALL TOTALS OF 7 TO 12 INCHES ARE EXPECTED BY MONDAY MORNING...WITH ADDITIONAL SNOW ACCUMULATION LIKELY THROUGH MONDAY EVENING."

Of course I didn't even have the bed prepared much less any topsoil purchased. Just spent a good hour removing sod so that the snow will soak into the bare dirt (and didn't get all of the grass off, either.)

Even with a good spade it's tough work; makes you wonder how anyone ever got buried up here before diesel engines.

Friday Odds and Ends

2007-04-13T10:40:00.000-04:00

T.S. Eliot must have lived in the Hinterlands.

Just finished Imaginary Friends by Alison Lurie and thought it was as enjoyably good as everything else of hers I've read. I'll spare you the details but will hint that the title is significant.

I am getting awfully sick of the media blitz over Imus (but I sure love that Wikipedia). Yes it was a horrible thing to say, the basketball team is justifiably outraged and there should be appropriate censure. However....
----from the outset it sounded like a whole lot of talking newsheads were really enjoying repeating the slur.
----he's know as a Shock-Jock DJ with a particularly mean mouth so why are we all acting so surprised?
----why have we elevated certain slurs into greater crimes than others? Do you really think there would have been as much fuss if the show had stopped at just "hos" ["whores"]? What about that "Hymietown" flap back in 1984? What about the pervasive use of "gay" to mean "lame" or "stupid"? Why wasn't there a call for total media reform over those things?
----that whole "media reform" concept sounds like censorship to me...and I thought we as a nation were against that.
----some individuals are getting a whole lot of self-righteous television time they wouldn't otherwise have had; is that personal gain from other's pain I smell?
----whatever happened to the concept of forgiveness? Much though it pains me to agree with the man, Pat Robertson made a good point last night with "He asked for forgiveness and they hung [sic] him" (and as far as I know he's the only "man of the cloth" who has made such a statement.)
----speaking of forgiveness, don't those with moral superiority issues realize that the position of "you're so unimportant and insignificant that I can forgive you and move on; you're to be pitied rather than hated" is one of much greater strength than "how dare you hurt me?"
----why is this stupidity more important to broadcast than the war getting our young people killed and the lies leading up to it?

Okay, I'll shut up on that subject now but not before commenting that I think this was a great response to a nasty slur.

Public Service Suggestion: If you use black pepper at all, switch from the ground kind to whole peppercorns nevermind that the grinder is more expensive than a shaker. Not only is the flavor on a whole new and improved level but you will no longer have to be concerned about the fact that the acceptable standard for insect parts and other extraneous matter is not zero.

This is a really interesting blog.

I don't believe ConAgra about the peanut butter or the Chinese about the wheat gluten. Caveat Emptor has never been more applicable.

You can buy these at the local drugstore now--blew my mind when I walked by the display last week.

I've decided I'm not a big fan of knitting designs that have you progressively increase till the yarn is all gone...reminds me of that wedding gown story I read a few years back.

Ray had an excellent post today with which I couldn't agree more.

Have a happy spring weekend and practice tolerance, y'all!

Yarn and Food

2007-04-12T07:12:00.000-04:00

First the Easter Yarn all balled up in the basket:

And out of the basket.

I know the shots are wretchedly off-center; I'm still not used to adjusting for the difference between the viewfinder and the actual lens. Nor have I yet replaced the camera. Yes that is indeed snow in the background. Yes there's more on the way.

And now for some food ranting.

The latest "adulterated" foodstuff is yogurt. Went shopping on Monday wanting to get a nice tub of plain yogurt--you know, rotted milk. Couldn't find an unflavored brand which was JUST milk. Every single one of them had "inulin (a dietary fiber)" or pectin or modified food starch or sometimes all three. Every. Single. One. The cottage cheese is just as bad; Breakstone is so tasty because it's got modified food starch in it too.

I had to buy the local brand of whole-milk ricotta to get an ingredient label of "Milk, enzymes, salt." In the dairy products !! At least there IS a local brand I like. I am aware that option has become increasingly less available thanks to mega-agri-business.

I also quit letting the kids have ready-made breakfast foods. No more Pop-Tarts and Little Debbie Cakes much though I loved the ease and convenience. We're back to "healthy cereal" as defined by a pronouncable short ingredient list...and a whole lotta oatmeal. Fortunately MIL is willing to batch-produce the oatmeal (which suggests another rant for a different day about the time factor but I digress.)

It's all water under the bridge now but I don't think agri-business was the way to go. The additives are everywhere and they make the food damned tasty but they're also making us an increasingly larger nation. (Don't get me started on maltodextrin, mouth-feel and binge eating, just don't.) I still maintain that food additives are the biochemical equivalent of walking barefoot on Lego blocks all day every day...and they're mass-produced in countries not our own which means that entirely different sets of trade rules and corporate values apply.

I'd rant more but it's time to go to the office...I'll leave you with the word "insidious."

Easter Yarn

2007-04-08T11:03:00.000-04:00

Before...

During...

(those are Eldest Duckling feet)

And after.

Eldest and I both like the orange one better--it's "Fire" which makes the other one "Water" and also nice but not as. We're splitting both skeins between us after they're dry.

That picture also demonstrates one of the Cabinet Hinges Made In Hell which I so despise.

Eggs 2007

2007-04-07T18:59:00.000-04:00

We're Dyeing

2007-04-07T18:25:00.000-04:00

It's snowing outside which isn't that uncommon up here for Easter but we don't care. BIL, The Ducklings and I just dyed up a couple-three dozen eggs. Good thing most of us love hard-boiled eggs in all their variations, huh?

I couldn't very well let those lovely cups of intense food coloring-vinegar solution go to waste...so I grabbed a couple hanks of natural wool, ran them under the hot-water tap briefly and threw one each into big Tupperware containers. I poured the yellow, orange and red dyes over one hank, covered it with plastic wrap and nuked it for about four minutes before putting it on the (snow-dusted) glass patio table. I intend to repeat the process with the blues and greens after Eldest has finished her last masterpiece.

Pictures will follow but they've become a finite entity: now that the viewscreen (and therefore camera/user interface) of my digital camera has died, I can no longer erase the memory card. Using the rectangular glass viewfinder (annoyingly off-center from the lens itself) we can still take pictures which will automatically save to the memory card but once that card is full it's full--I can read images from the printer but not interact with the card (to my knowledge.) It's an interesting artistic limitation.

Yes I know the real answer is a new camera.

Off to finish dyeing...

Book Review #4

2007-04-07T15:03:00.000-04:00

A Guide to Quality, Taste and Style

Frequent flyers will know that Eldest Duckling and I have been huge Tim Gunn fans for quite some time. We wish he could be an honorary uncle so we could have him at all the family gatherings. We have loved how he could say "It sucks" in such kindly hopeful ways and of course he was always so very well dressed. When Amazon told me he had written a book it didn't matter whether it was autobiography, fiction or other; I had clicked the preorder button as soon as my hand could reach the mouse.

If you have watched even one episode of Project Runway then you'll recall Tim Gunn's voice. His vowels have a distinctive quality not quite nasal and not quite imitable (much though Eldest and I have tried.) His prose is therefore easily read with that accent in mind from the very first page. His text is true to his tone...and then some:

Halfway down page 18 I looked up to ask HBF "Could you please do me a favor? Would you google 'semiology' for me?"

"Okay, thanks...that's what I thought." Hadn't read that word in about a decade and a half. How completely delightful! Not only that but the word was being applied to fashion thus elevating that particular f-word from superficial to serious. How completely intriguing.

It was a wonderful read. Here's what I know:

He wrote a how-to-dress book and wrote it very well. His ability to teach shines through every sentence. Anecdotes from his own life illustrate his learning objectives in a very supportive way. He gifts us with objectivity in the form of useful phrases early in the book and references not just The Odyssey for a beach read but Kierkegaard as a fashion tool--KIERkegaard, people!! Absolutely my kind of fellow.

The asterisked footnotes are a story unto themselves. Kate Moloney sounds like one too; she's on my list to google right after Leontyne Price.

That wit comes through the print: "I attended a meeting recently at which someone (gender makes no difference in this case) was wearing flannel drawstring pants printed with soccer balls. Even deadpan me couldn't conceal my incredulity! I can't remember what was worn on top. The pants alone did me in."

One can read the warmth in the lines and also the humility: "Oh shut up, Tim."

He finally PRINTED it: "Vanity sizing is a contrivance of the retail world." See, I knew I wasn't anywhere near a fucking twelve nevermind what Land's End says.

The content is largely traditional Fashion Gospel; what keeps it from being one long women's-magazine article is the level of the language and the depth of the background. This is no lightweight throwaway text. Although there's much information the tone stays friendly and encouraging throughout.

Like any good text it has appendices.

Go get a copy; you'll be glad you did.

Reading Happiness

2007-04-06T19:10:00.000-04:00

Just got my copy of Tim Gunn's book.

It's so good.

More to follow.

Best Spam This Week:

2007-04-05T08:24:00.000-04:00

Cheese Appendix

Yeah, that's all for now.

Book Review 3

2007-04-04T12:10:00.000-04:00

You've read about one book I really hated and one I kind of disliked so I thought it was about time to review a book I genuinely liked. Not just to prove that I don't hate everything like Grumpy Smurf but also to point out why I liked it.

The book is Alison Lurie's first novel Love and Friendship published in 1962 which makes it four years older than I am.

It's an incredible first novel. Not only because the subject (love and friendship; it's right there in the title) is timeless so the book isn't a bit dated after four decades but also because the writing is so fine.

Passes the First Sentence Test with flying colors: "The day on which Emily Stockwell Turner fell out of love with her husband began much like other days." Is that a grabber or what? Conflict is introduced with the very first verb!

The imagery is vivid also. The second sentence is "As usual, Emmy lay in bed twenty minutes later than she should have done, with her son Freddy playing cars over her legs and when she finally got up it seemed as if things would never be sorted out." Paints a vividly familiar picture, doesn't it? There's a whole lot of information packed into that sentence too--not only do we know about how our protagonist starts her day but also that she has at least one child who is allowed into her bedroom not just to cuddle but for routine play. Lurie always packs a lot into her sentences; she's the mistress of "show me don't tell me." She also slips in motive at every turn: on page 13 after some backstory has been developed (primarily the fact that Emmy comes from money) we get the wonderful passage:

"She loved to eat and now that she was relatively thin she could do it with a
clear conscience. She knew she would never be fat again; Holman, [her husband]
unfortunately, was not convinced of it. Whenever he saw her bring in a dish of mashed
potatoes with butter on top, or help herself to a second piece of pie, a nervous warning
look came on his face. It was as if he saw the ghost of the fat girl he had first met."

Interesting, no?

Another excellent feature is that the characters always have their own voices.
We meet the new cleaning lady early on and her dialogue stays recognizeably her own throughout the remainder of the book. None of that everyone-sounds-the-same business for this novel. The writing is also tight, and by "tight" I mean that the gun introduced in Act 1 gets used by Act 3--or rather in this case a seemingly dull monologue about old-fashioned appliances turns out to be foreshadowing for a major plot development later in the book.

This is a book with a "second narrative line" which often doesn't work. We've all read the kind of book where each chapter is told by or about a different person none of whom we really like all that well. Not here. In this case the second story line is a series of letters from the Visiting Novelist to a friend back home and his wry commentary is delightful. For example:

"But the short-story writing course is worse and worse and worse than you predicted. I was so delighted at first to find two or three reasonably intelligent ones that I forgot what the rest were like. That hour after hour and week after week I would have to sit and talk to thirteen hopeless idiots who have already proved over and over again that they will never be able to construct a sentence let alone a story."

She was as good as Miss Snark four decades ago! Even the letters have a twist: they are introduced as "from Allen Ingram to Francis Noyes" which isn't going to necessarily make anyone's eyes perk up but the first one casually closes with "...if we appear in public together it will simply provide the local harpies with a real-life demonstration of the love that dare not speak its name." Subtle but effective. It isn't in-your-face but in the early Sixties we have a strong openly gay male voice, which is a nice touch. She also let Allen Ingram have the best simile in the entire book: while visiting family in Florida he mentions "the sea like consomme." Isn't that just grand? Anyone who's ever been in the ocean on the right kind of day knows exactly what he means.

Although it was a far cry from Stephen King's Carrie, there was a decently gritty passage early on when Emmy's husband described his fraternity's initiation rituals at a dinner party. Nice not just for shock value but also to point out that Emmy's husband has unmentioned depths. Not only do Lurie's characters all have their own voices but they're delightfully complex and all of them have both good and bad features--none of that "good wife/evil husband" broad-brushstroke nonsense. The characters are deep enough that the things they do make sense, which is what storytelling is all about.

And speaking of telling the story, Lurie deals with sex well. Meaning that she spends a lot of time on the motivating factors and the leading-up-to-it details but doesn't dwell on the actual mechanics or--praise be!-- attempt to write dialogue for the throes of the characters' passion. We all know there are certain books specifically for highly detailed sex scenes but a complicated tightly-plotted novel isn't really one of them and although it's easy to have, sex is hard to write. As Robin Williams once said, "it's an industrial film covered in fur" and nobody ever said ANYthing during sex that would be a bit profound to anyone not also in the room at the time. Alison Lurie gets around that fact by leading us far enough along that we can fill in the gaps but remembers to point out the important conflicts:

"This time Will moved in so slowly and deliberately that she had plenty of time to turn away, but instead she found herself leaning forward, helping him on; she had her tongue in his mouth first."

That's a lot more interesting than "they kissed again, she more passionately this time." The rest is like that too--"why" is every bit as important as "how" or "where." She often uses the literary equivalent of fade-to-black: the first serious sex in the book is sketched with

"The background of cold bushes and sky past his head was replaced by one of car roof. She began to breathe in gasps. Well, anyhow, we can't possibly do it now here in the car, was her last, mistaken, coherent thought."

right before cutting to another Allen Ingram letter.

The story revolves around Emmy's affair but the sideline plots are intriguing in their own right and unexpected twists keep the book from ever becoming dull. It's an excellent read because ALL the ingredients are there: fully-developed characters, tight plotting, good use of the language, close observation of what humans really do all day and a good sense of humor.

It's like really hot gossip from a close friend. I'd gush even longer and more enthusiastically but I don't want to risk giving away too much because I want you all to go find your own copies as soon as possible. If not of Love and Friendship than of her later work--The Last Resort, Foreign Affairs and Truth and Consequences are all similar dishes from the same fine kitchen. Alison Lurie is too good to miss.

Nota Bene:
Another big and special thank-you to my dear friend V--the gift of a previously-unread author with a decent body of work is treasure finer than platinum or petroleum.

Flowers But No Tech

2007-04-03T08:46:00.000-04:00

Yup, it's finally spring...my Siberian Iris and yellow crocus started blooming yesterday. I also have inch-high green shoots of daffodils, hyacinths, tulips and peonies.

I'd share a picture or two but my digital camera finally went to Camera Afterlife last night: the LCD screen won't work at all. Sure I tried taking pictures with the (gasp! shock!) viewfinder...

...but my computer's power supply ALSO died last night so I have no idea what's on the memory card. Could be flowers; could be the driveway blacktop. Clearly I've been techno-cursed.

MIL hasn't even been back two weeks yet and is already threatening to pack her bags and go. Fun times.

I know none of the above is a book review. It'll turn up eventually. Maybe.

Some Knitting

2007-03-30T08:06:00.000-04:00

Happy...

This is some of Ray's yarn in the colorway "Happy." I am happy to be using the front yard as a studio again.

Here's a close-up of the way the short rows work: after three more stitches the two yellow loops with the big gap between them will be knit together as one and the work will be turned. All the other stitches on the left-hand needle will just sit there.

...And Not So Happy:

This is an EZ "Baby Surprise Jacket" out of cotton...but not for very much longer. After getting the sleeves done (yes those are sleeves; it's knit in a strange way) I realized this is just NOT working out. The yarn and stitch are producing a fabric way too heavy to make a toddler happy, the damned thing is gonna stretch like hell, the color might fade and let's face it, the sleeves are too short.

It's getting ripped out while I watch the news this evening. Dunno what I AM gonna make with all that maroon cotton though...thoughts? This is the same yarn that refused to be a Tychus hat a while back for the same reason: too much heft and no give.

I'm Still Around...

2007-03-28T11:15:00.000-04:00

...But kinda sad that one of my first blog-buddies isn't blogging any more. Such is the way of the world.

Life's getting in the way of blogging again but I'm working on another book review--a good one this time.

There's been knitting but not nearly as much as usual or as I'd like.

Also there's hope for gardening again which is good since I've ordered a major new perennial bed for the front yard. Smushed my right pinkie finger this morning rearranging fieldstone on my way out to the car.

Oh and for those of you with functioning uteri? Check out this link-- nothing for proselytizing like a recent convert.

Another Book Review

2007-03-22T15:17:00.001-04:00

Over the snowy weekend I finished The Red Tent. It didn’t suck quite as much as I thought it would.

Yeah, I know, that requires explanation.

Back when the book first came out, I heard some of the hype and thought "A ‘red tent’ because of menstruation?!? Ya gotta be kidding me. Oh and it’s religious too? Eegads." I put it squarely on the "not my thing" list but did notice it getting carried through the hospital cafeteria and waiting rooms. I’m older and more mellow now so I thought I’d give it a try.

I’m not religious or scholarly enough to comment on the Biblical accuracy of the story. I quit reading the Bible in any regular way after confirmation class and have picked it up only rarely since then, usually to look up the words of the Magnificat. I can paint the story of Jacob and Esau with only the broadest of brushstrokes and wouldn’t have a clue what happened after the big trickery in any case.

So I treated the book as a fairy tale.

It was the epitome of chick fairy tale. The author had a good voice and kept things moving along but like all fairy tales it required a certain suspension of belief which was...difficult:

Voice of Reason: You mean they dyed an entire TENT red?! Where did they get that much dye, how did they get the goatshair to take it and why waste the resources?

Storyteller: Shut up. They’re goddess worshippers. They dyed the tent in homage to their goddess. Consider it a temple equivalent.

The beginning of the book was a lovely word-painting of ancient times reminiscent of Clan of the Cave Bear or the Mary Stewart Arthurian series and blissfully didn’t dwell on the menstrual details. The characters were well-sketched and classic family conflicts were established.

Politics ensued.

I fell into the story, although the Voice returned now and then:

Voice of Reason: The womenfolk all take three DAYS off each month? Who’s doing the work of the tribe in the interim? What are they doing on Day 4 when they haven’t stopped yet?

Storyteller: Shut up. Wouldn’t you like to have an automatic vacation during Days 1-3 each month? Wouldn’t you like a little acknowledgement for the crap you do all day every day? Wouldn’t that be just great?

V of R: Yeah it totally would but my time is the full moon. They’d probably stone me. So what DO they do about the women not in synch? Or about the ones who bleed longer? And did you read that "feet not touch the GROUND" part?!?!

Storyteller: Shut up and read the book.

So I read the book. It was pleasant and escapist and ancient midwifery was brought in early which is always a bonus for me. Jacob was established as Jewish but tolerant of the pre-existing local deities and things moved along nicely. I thought making Rebecca a Crone was an interesting variant and that having Our Heroine stay with her was a decent, if predictable, plot turn.

After that the plot and I started parting company. It started with Rebecca’s prediction that the whole concept behind the Red Tent would die with her. I wondered "then what’s the point?" but was fond enough of the characters to press on.

It wasn’t the menarche; that was fine. If I was supposed to be shocked I wasn’t; if I was supposed to be awed I wasn’t that either.

It was what came after, which was Jacob smashing the household gods of his beloved favorite wife. Not only could the Voice of Reason not explain but the Storyteller couldn’t either since the "petty theft" aspect on which that particular plot device hung seemed thin.

It was downhill from there.

In classic fairy-tale fashion, Our Heroine was summoned to The Castle where she fell in love (and had sex) with A Prince. Even better, The Prince came to rescue Our Heroine and make an Honest Woman of her through marriage. Great, right? Daughter of a successful shepherd attracts the hand of royalty; what’s not to like?

He isn’t circumcised, that’s what’s not to like. In a burst of amazing audacity Jacob insists that not just The Prince but ALL men of his house be circumcised before handing over his daughter in marriage.

Well now that’s just dumb. There’s a huge dairy farming operation on the next road over and I’m sure they aren’t trying to tell the Mayor how to govern, much less how to wear his personal parts although it would make for amusing editorials if they did. So I started getting turned off right then.

But wait! It gets better!

The Prince is SO in love with Our Heroine that he manages to get the family talked into the crazy scheme. Did you ever?!?

So fine, after a few days of pain and anguish they all lived happily ever after, right?

Wrong. Older Brothers steal into the palace at night and kill The Prince in Our Heroine’s arms.

The "why" was never adequately explained. Oh sure there was some talk of their constant dissatisfaction and feeling cheated by life, but not enough to motivate the highly stupid and suicidal act of storming the damned castle and killing the heir apparent in his sleep.

That’s just bad writing.

If it really IS Biblically accurate then no wonder so many have lost the faith. [editorial note: No wonder indeed--read.]

Our Heroine was furious to lose her True Love, scorned her birth family and went to live with the in-laws.

Of course she was pregnant; can’t lose that plot device. She seemed surprised that Mother-in-Law would claim the baby as her own which I thought was hopelessly naïve but by then I’d pretty much lost interest. I pressed on to see if the writing would pick up again but it never did.

The story suffered badly from "second half syndrome" which is when th the writing and the pacing fall off dramatically after some big plot turn. Dinah went to Egypt, worked as a midwife, met someone else and eventually paired off with him but not before a couple of fairly predictable setbacks. She lived, she died. Ho-hum. The shoulder dystocia was the most interesting part.

Marion Zimmer Bradley did it earlier and better with The Mists of Avalon.

Shortie

2007-03-22T11:55:00.000-04:00

MIL due home 5:45pm tonight. I put a sure-thing roast in the crock pot first thing this morning.

Make that "second" thing this morning; first thing this morning Eldest and I had a particularly nasty row over recidivism.

Work politics are still in a strange limbo state.

Have been doing too much laundry instead of knitting but do have a Toddler Surprise Jacket (EZ's baby surprise but with worsted weight cotton) on the needles.

Working on a book review of The Red Tent; that should be my next real post.

We should reach a temperature at or above fifty today--the whole town is perky and cheerful. I'm pleased to see about four inches of bulb-beds at the edges of my sidewalk even if Snow Mountain is still nearly as tall as the van.

But best of all...my intralibrary loan order came through and I now have a stack of ALL the Alison Lurie I've not yet read. Happy times.